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“I’m just reminding you.” She rolls her eyes as she runs a brush through my hair like I am a child again.
“I don’t need reminding, I’m not easy. I’m not going to jump into bed with him.” She runs her fingers under my hair and lifts it from my nape before letting it fan out down my back. I smile at her as I stand. She moves to the side so I can see my full body reflection in the mirror opposite me.
I’m wearing an old emerald jumper dress, black thick tights and black knee-high boots. This wasn’t a look I would wear in my life in LA, but I don’t have a choice until I go shopping with mom tomorrow.
“You look lovely,” her voice floats over me as if she can hear my thoughts, and I give her a small shrug. I wasn’t so sure. My dirty blonde hair sits in waves, the once tight curls are now brushed out and loose, tumbling down past my ribs.
Pushing medium gold hoops through my ear, I spray my perfume and step into the mist, coating my skin.
My head falls forward, my fingers locked round the band of my engagement ring, and I softly tug at it when I hear my mom’s question slice through me, causing me to push my ring back onto my finger.
“What happened, Aspen?” Rolling my head up to look at her, her soft eyes focus on me and the question lays heavy on my shoulders.
“Mom,” I whisper because I am too scared to say it out loud, the flood of emotions drowning me and it doesn’t matter how much I tread, I can’t keep my head above the choppy waters.
“You can tell me, there will be no judgement or anger towards the situation…” she steps closer to me and my heart hammers, slamming against my chest and my breaths slow.
“I can’t,” my voice cracks and it’s the truth, I can’t tell her because I am weak and still care what Luke thinks, still think that he will turn up and beg on his knees for me to return home. Still agreeing to keep my mouth shut forhiscareer.
Her gaze doesn’t harden, there is no anger brewing in her frown but there is concern laced through her expression. I refuse the blink when my eyes beg for it, the tears forming in my bottom lid, my tear ducts overflowing and I know as soon as I give in, the tears will cascade down my cheeks.
“Okay, sweetheart,” she scoops me up into her motherly embrace and just holds me close, her heart softly beating through her cashmere sweater, and I have never felt more at home and content than I do now with her. “Don’t waste your tears on whatever has happened my darling. I know how much you love Luke, but don’t let whatever has happened consume you, you deserve so much more than this. He doesn’t deserve your tears or your beautiful soul.”
And I sob into her sweater, my tears soaking through the small gaps in the material.
“I’m assuming it was him and not you…” she trails off and I nuzzle deeper into her hold. “Thought so,” she whispers to the top of my head and places a kiss there, her arms wrapping around me a little tighter.
Minutes pass and I begin to compose myself; the odd shudder of my breath still vibrates in the back of my throat but the tears have dried up.
“Come on, McHottie will be here soon. You don’t want to go out puffy eyed and a quivering mess, do you?” she lets me go, her head tilting to the side as adoration fills her eyes as they hold my glassy eyed gaze.
“No,” I whimper, frustration boiling deep inside of me at how upset I am over that worthless, cheating piece of shit and I am even more frustrated that I am allowing myself to still lie and hide what he did.
Her hands drop from me and my arms cross over my body, hugging myself.
“Well then, fix your make up, give yourself a minute and I’ll see you downstairs.”
I sniff, heading towards the small dressing table, sitting back down and looking back at myself.
“Oh, and Aspen,” my mom says as she reaches the door.
“Yeah,” my voice cracks.
“You don’t owe him, or anyone, anything. Don’t feel like youhaveto stay committed to him. He doesn’t own you. You’re not imprisoned by him. You do you,” she smiles before disappearing and I let out a shaky breath.
My eyes fall to my left hand, the large, opal ring sitting on a thin gold band, and as much as I want to take it off, I don’t.
This is all I have.
This is all I know.
Everything I was before Luke I masked with the woman I am today and I’m not sure if I am ready to take the mask off.
Not yet.
CHAPTERFIVE
ASPEN
