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After what feels like hours, I finally nod.
He smiles, his fingertips brushing against mine and I don’t miss the spark of electricity that courses through me, my heart racing.
“I’ve got you.”
As I follow Riggs out of the stables, we walk along the fence line down to his ranch and my mind wanders back to the day of my accident.
Riggs was watchingin complete awe of me and Blossom. We were a team and a strong one. I knew we had what it took to be one of the best. I was clearing the jumps, we moved in sync, Blossom’s strides immaculate. We were more than ready, but I needed to practice until I knew we were as perfect as could be. I was rounding the outside arena just before the final jump which was a Swedish Oxer. I could do this jump with my eyes closed.
My heart beat slowed, matching Blossom’s canter strides and in the moment I was approaching the jump, all I could hear was the way my heart beat in my chest, the way the blood pumped in my ears. Lifting myself out of the saddle, I dropped my heels and nudged her on and my hands moved up Blossom’s neck as I gave her a little more slack on her mouthpiece.
Four.
Three.
Two.
I kicked her on a little harder to push her over the jump, I was stood in the stirrups, my legs straight and instead of Blossom soaring over the poles, she spooked just at the last moment, her front legs coming down on the bars before she bucked and as much as I tried to stay on, I couldn’t. One of my feet slipped from my stirrup, the other boot slipping forward so most of my foot was through it, she reared up then kicked her back legs out once more, my fingers were tight around her reins and just when I thought I had a hold of her, a loud bang from behind the bunkhouse spooked her again. She jolted to the side giving one last buck for good measure and I was thrown off her back, my arm stuck through her rein and as much as I tried, I couldn’t get my boot free. Everything moved in slow motion as I was thrown over Blossom’s neck, but all I could hear was Riggs shouting out my name.
My back landed on the poles of the jump and I fell through them, my arm was still entangled in the reins and it felt as if my shoulder was ripped from my socket and I knew my leg was broken. It was a matter of seconds before the pain radiated through me and I let out a blood curdling scream.
“You okay darlin’?”Riggs asks as he pulls me out of my flashback and I mutter back. We duck and climb through the fence and towards the stables. “I’m going to put you on the lazy cob,” he gives me a wink as I fall a little behind him, anxiety making itself known as my stomach knots. Tay, the piebald cob was more of a companion mare, she was well loved but she definitely wasn’t a cowboy’s horse.
“I’m not sure about this Riggs,” I say as I slow my steps, my eyes looking round the ranch at a few of the cowboys, all their eyes on me.
“Ignore everyone else around you. We should have got you back on a horse years ago, you need to do this for you Aspen.” He turns to face me and gives me a small smile. “Trust me?”
And I have no idea why, but I am nodding.
“Paul, go tack up Tay,” he orders the young ranch hand.
“Sure thing Riggs,” Paul says quickly as he disappears into the stables. Riggs makes his way back over to me and stands close to me.
“One step at a time baby, okay?”
I stay mute when I see Paul return with Tay all saddled up and my heart drops into my stomach, suddenly feeling sick.
“Can we just leave this as the first step?” my words are rushed, my tongue feeling as if it’s swelling in my mouth and suddenly my chest hurts as I try and suck in as much air as I can to fill my lungs.
“You can do this,” he says quietly before stepping forward and taking the reins from Paul and walking the pretty cob over to me.
He stops her just in front of me and my eyes roam over her body.
“Take your time, stroke her and let her know you’re not afraid,” he says softly as he scratches behind her ear and throws the reins over her head so they’re resting on the nape of her mane.
“But I am afraid,” I swallow down the bitter taste that is coating my tongue and I realise it’s bile.
“She’ll sense it, I need you to be brave baby,” his voice is low so the other cowboys don’t hear. “Horses are great healers, give her a hug, I promise you’ll feel so much better,” he cocks his head to the side and I contemplate it for a moment as my eyes move between him and the cob.
Sighing, I ignore the way my heart is thumping so hard in my chest and the way my blood is thrashing in my ears. I stand just to the side of Tay’s head so she can see me. I hold my hand up then slowly move my trembling fingers to her nose, trying to still my fingers as I feel the hot air coming from her nostrils.
Slowing my breathing, I run the tips of my fingers on the end of her nuzzle, stroking the soft pink area of her nose and my stomach flips.
“She’s a gentle giant. Mom of the mares without actually being a mom,” Riggs smiles as he looks at Tay. I step a little closer, my heart feels like it’s in my throat and I am struggling to breathe. Holding my other trembling hand up, I hold it over her neck for a second then slowly and gently place it on the warm skin of Tay’s neck.
“You’re doing so well Aspen,” Riggs goes back to his praise and pride swarms me. This might not seem like a big deal, but to me, this was huge.
Leaning in slightly, I place my cheek against the soft fur and inhale deeply, my arm looping over her mane and I still for a moment and ignore the way my heart is galloping in my chest, but I don’t feel as nervous now that I am close to her. Letting my emotions and anxiety seep into the ground below me ready to bury themselves deep and root underground.
