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“Knox looks good,” she points out.
For the past week, I’ve avoided him. Because while I want to think about what he said, I also don’t want to think about it. No,him. I want to think about hockey.
Beth doesn’t know about his proposition. My heart thumps out of sync in the middle of the night, just an extra beat or a skipped one here and there, and I tense up all over. And I consider the impact of an emergency surgery without better insurance.
And without Knox.
God, it’s hard.
Because I like him, and I want to kiss him some more, but I’m only sixteen. Getting married at sixteen is insane.
“Yeah,” I finally echo my best friend.
Knox is on the ice. He’s standing on the blue line with the rest of his teammates, and Miles moves into position. He leans over in the crease, then lifts his head and nods to Knox.
They start. Three of them, passing and shooting. A wrist shot from the right winger, which Miles blocks. A slap shot from the next trio. I lean forward, balancing my elbows on my knees, and watch their footwork. Their control of the puck. Their passes, which are sometimes better than others.
Miles eventually skates toward the bench. The warm-up pace increases, the guys cycling through and shooting at the empty net.
“Are you guys not talking?”
I glance at Beth. “What?”
“You and Knox. You’ve been weird all week at school.”
“Oh, um, yeah. Just family stuff. And I don’t know, I haven’t seen him much.”
She nods carefully. “Okay.”
The horn blows, the skaters leave the ice, and Beth jumps up.
“Popcorn?”
“Sure.” But I’m grateful to just sit here and stare at the empty ice. Because I can mourn it again, for the hundredth time, without her trying to make me feel better.
After the game, I follow Beth down to the hall where the players will emerge. I move a little slower than her, and she bounces out ahead of me when we spot them coming out. They’re guys our age. A high school league. And yet, she flings herself at them in a way that confuses me.
Because they’re just normal high school assholes, minusmaybethe Whiteshaw brothers.
She hugs Miles, plants a kiss on Knox’s cheek. Congratulates the rest of the players on their successful game.
Knox comes up to me. “Hey, Sunny.”
I incline my chin. “They moved you to center?”
“Our other guy can’t win a face-off to save his life. We’re trying something new.”
I appraise him. He’s won more face-offs than is usual for our team. “It suited you,” I end up saying.
“Hey, Aurora,” Miles calls, coming over and draping his arm around my shoulders. “Thanks for coming. Beth said we’re giving you two a ride home?”
Knox’s eyebrow rises slightly.
“Her dad was supposed to come. I guess he got held up or something…”
“Yeah.” Knox shoves Miles’ arm off my shoulder. “That’s probably it.”
I feel like, these days, I’m always following. Beth returns and drags Knox away. Miles is with them. And I, with my heart thatcan’t keep up, trails. Until Miles drops back anyway. He and I have always been good friends.
