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I don’t tell anyone this, but I’ve been nurturing it like a seed in my chest, willing it to grow. It’s taken root, and I can’t shake it. I’m glad we’re married, I’m glad he’s tied to me. Because surely he feels the same.
Surely.
He’s going back to school tomorrow, and my heart is rioting. I woke up crying, dreading the separation. I was struck with the wild thought of sneaking into his house and crawling into his bed.
Doesn’t fortune favor the bold?
But alas—I’m not bold. So I stay in my bed until my mother knocks on my door and tells me that Knox is downstairs. We’re going to spend the day together, I think. We’re going to make it good until he comes home in a few months for spring break, or until my parents can take some time off and we can make the trip to Crown Point.
But what I’m faced with is not a sad Knox. It’s not like the last time he left, his blue eyes staring into mine like he was trying to give me strength. The day suddenly doesn’t seem to be stretching ahead of us. There’s a bigstopsign, red lights flashing.
His expression is like nothing I’ve seen?—
No, wait.
It reminds me of the first time we met. When I reached for his hockey stick, desperate to play and fit in with my new neighbors, and he pushed me into the mud.
A chill sweeps down my spine.
I step onto the porch and close the door behind me. “What’s wrong?”
He shakes his head slowly. “I’ve tried to wrap my mind around you, Aurora McGovern.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“I’ve tried to understand you. Your motives.” He lets out a harsh laugh. “It’s pointless, by the way. You’re complicated in all the wrong ways. You make decisions that don’t makesense.”
“I—”
“Do not talk.”
My lips press together. I’ve never heard him speak so sternly, not to me. Maybe the kids at the hockey intensives, but that’s different. They’re notme. They don’t have his ring on their finger.
“I can’t do this with you. We’re done.”
He looks away, his jaw muscle ticking. When he lasers back in on me, my breath catches. He’s somehow sad and angry at the same time, the emotions warring in his expression.
His words take another second to register.
“What do you mean, done?”
“I mean, we were never meant for this. There was no way you and I were ever going to be happy or live out some fairy-tale dream. Those don’t exist for people like you.” He steps forward, crowding me.
And God, if this was any other moment, I would welcome his closeness.
But right now, I don’t know.
I stare up at him, my eyes beginning to burn from how long I’ve gone without blinking. And his words. They’re knives to my chest, but I just don’t understand. I don’t know what I did, if I did anything.
“I swear to you, Aurora McGovern, this is the last time you’re going to see me in person.” He touches my lower lip. “I’ll be famous one day. You’ll see me on your screen playing in the NHL, you’ll see me winning the Stanley Cup. You’llsee me, and you’ll think of me, and you’ll know in your heart that this is the moment I stopped giving a shit about you.”
“Divorce me, then,” I blurt out.
My heart is literally breaking.
“Divorce me and cut ties?—”
He laughs.
