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“It's not a breach in our security,” he says, his words quieter.
I nod my head. “I know.”
“We’ve never been made aware of letters either,” he throws out.
“I know.”
“Not even Booker was aware that there were any issues and he handpicks these hotels the majority of the time.” Ezra huffs and glances at his phone.
“I figured.” I shrug.
Ezra stops pacing and comes to stand right in front of me, his green eyes bright and intent on mine. “You sound completely sure, just agreeing with everything.”
My head tilts to the side and I can’t help the smile that plays on my lips. “You’re in charge of it so I’m not worried. I’msorry I panicked earlier; I think it was just the surprise. And the reporters.”
Ezra scoffs. “Yet another thing that the officers and detectives messed up on. I’m sorry this happened. I’ll figure it out.”
“I know you will,” I tell him, my head tilting back as he moves closer.
“You trust me so much.”
“Of course I do. Everything you do is for me and to keep me safe.” I repeat to him the mantra he was saying earlier to help me calm down. The phrases he has been whispering in my ear since that first plane ride.
Ezra’s hands cradle my head. His touch is almost intimate with how closely he’s standing to me. If I breathe, my chest will brush against his abdomen. My heart races in my chest, my hands resting on his sides. I can feel his breathing becoming deeper. His pupils dilate. My tongue pokes out at my bottom lip and his eyes follow the movement, as if he’s entranced.
The temptation is too much. “Ezra, don’t you know that I trust you. I know you’ll always do anything for me. You’re the one person I trust with my life. I love you.”
His breath hitches in his throat and I start to panic, not letting myself believe that I said those words out loud. His hands tighten on my face. Before I can give him a chance to reject me, I do the next reckless thing I can think of. I. Kiss. Him.
I rise up on my toes and brush my lips against his. The second our lips touch, I lose my nervousness. Nothing has ever felt this right before. Tightening my hands on his sides, my fingers pulling at his shirt, I bring myself closer to him. In response, he takes over the kiss and when my lips part for him, his tongue darts out to swirl with mine. This kiss was given in innocence but quickly becomes frantic. His hands grip my scalp, holding me hostage, our mouths moving in sync as we kiss, peck,taste, devour each other. My knees go weak, and I sway further into him. I’d rather die than take my mouth away from his. I’m lost in Ezra and the feelings he’s creating in my body and my heart. Until a knock outside the door sends us flying apart.
“I’ll debrief in five,” Ezra calls back to whatever the question was. I never heard anything except for the heartbeat in my ears and our heavy breathing. I meet Ezra’s eyes and am met with anger, confusion, and then he shuts down altogether.
“I’m sorry,” I rush to tell him, but it’s too late. He takes a step back from me, his hands falling to his sides. Heat rushes up to my cheeks and tears fill my eyes.
“Ocean–”
“No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, maybe. Not now anyways. I know this is going to sound weird, and maybe messed up, but I can’t help it. I can’t help that I love you,” I blurt out again. His face softens for a second and I think things might be okay.
Then he steps back again. His hands running over his face before I’m presented the void mask he wears around everyone who is not me. Silence stretches between us and my declaration fills the space, unanswered. “I have to go.”
My feet can’t move to stop him. My voice stops working. Every fear and insecurity I have rushes in and floods me from the inside out. I’m drowning in my broken heart. Ezra leaves the room, and the second I hear the door click, I collapse.
Chapter Nine
Ocean
Ezra didn’t come back after the debriefing. I didn’t seek him out either. I crossed a line that neither of us can go back on. I told him my true feelings. I quoted all the sweet things he says to me when he thinks I’m not paying attention. I didn't make it up that he kissed me back, held me tighter. But then he left and I haven't heard from him since.
I know I have to leave my hotel room and get some food before tonight's concert, the last one in New York before we head down south. I give myself a big-girl talk and pump myself up before opening the door. The living area is quiet. Something isn’t right. I keep walking and make it to the kitchen. I notice that Kyle is on the balcony. Theo is stationed by the front door. Nothing in the room suggests that last night the area was swarming with law enforcement. Something I’m sure is due to Ezra.
I grab a bagel and some fruit before sitting at the table. Beth looks up for the first time, and I notice her eyes are rimmed red. “What’s wrong?”
She reaches across the table and takes my hand with hers. “I have to tell you something.”
“Good morning!” My uncle calls as he gleefully enters the room. My eyes widen in shock that he’s still here. After a night of partying, he usually heads home or on to the next place. He never stays with us.
“You’re still here?”
