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Cam arrives. Somehow he convinces them to discharge me even though it’s the middle of the night. It’ll be at least a few days before I’m cleared to play football again, but the trainers and the independent neurologist will handle that.
Cam drives me through the deserted streets. I’m bone tired. I didn’t get any rest at the hospital. I lean my head back and close my eyes. I must doze off because the next thing I know, we’re parked in the underground parking spot at my apartment.
One of the many benefits of being friends with my agent is that he knows me well enough to give me space. He heads to my guest room with only a few mumbled words. I go directly to the shower. The hot spray relaxes my muscles, but it does nothing to calm me.
I crawl into bed. After playing nearly an entire football game and then being carted off to the hospital, I should fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow, but I don’t. Instead, I stare into the darkness, neither asleep nor fully awake.
The urge to see or talk to Ellie is nearly overwhelming. Her text message gave me hope. I’ve waited weeks, but I can’t wait any longer. I pick up my phone and call her. It rings and rings and rings again. I’m going to get sent to voicemail. I drum my fingers on the bed. At least voicemail can’t laugh at me.
My head drops back onto the pillow.
It must be the last ring when she answers, her voice scratchy, “Slater?”
“I’m an idiot.”
“Are you okay?” she replies, her voice still scratchy.
I glance at the clock. It’s after four on the East Coast. “Shit. Were you asleep?”
She clears her throat. “Yes. Are you okay?” she asks again.
“I’m fine. I…um…got your text message.”
“The television said you have a concussion.”
“It’s nothing. How are you?”
“Are you still in the hospital?”
“No. They released me a little while ago. I miss you.” The words spill out, so wildly true.
“The television reported that you were being kept overnight.”
It’s like we’re having parallel conversations. She’s too fixated on the injury to respond to anything else. “The television was wrong. I do have a concussion, but it’s minor. There’s nothing they can do for me at the hospital, so they sent me home.”
She releases an audible breath. “I was so worried. It didn’t look like you were moving. And the announcers were being cagey. I couldn’t tell if they didn’t know what was wrong, or if they weren’t allowed to talk about it.”
Her voice is like water in the desert. I haven’t heard it in weeks, and yet, it’s exactly as beautiful as I remember. She hasn’t responded to most of the things I’ve said, and it doesn’t even matter. She was worried about me. Worried, even though we haven’t talked in weeks. Worried, even though I let her think she didn’t matter.
“I’m sorry about that night in the hotel. I want a second chance.” The words are blunt. Not nearly as flowery or showy as she deserves.
“A second chance?” Her voice is suddenly hesitant.
Shit…maybe I should have figured out the right words before I called. “I know the logistics are terrible. I know I took you for granted. I’ll be here for the next few months. And then who knows where I’ll end up. I still have to focus on football even though I’ll be the backup, and I won’t always be available. But I’ll call you back every time you call me. And I’ll see you as much as I can. You aren’t a distraction.”
“Slater.” She pauses. “It’s late and you must be tired. You should sleep. We can talk tomorrow.”
My heart is racing. “I want to be together. I want our relationship to be real.”
She makes a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sob. Is she happy? Horrified? Why aren’t we video chatting? I should be looking at her face.
“I hear you. Once you’ve slept and eaten and recovered, we can talk.”
“You don’t trust me.”
“It’s not that. Twelve hours ago, you were unconscious on the field. And now it’s late. Or early. You’re not thinking clearly. Or maybe you are. I don’t know. Let’s talk when I’m awake and you’re recovered.”
I should have gone back to her hotel room sooner. I should have kept calling her. I should have made it clear that she was never a distraction. How do I convince her to give me another chance?
