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He waited until the next day to message again. And I think he changed tactics because he doesn’t mention talking or our argument or the kisses that changed everything.
Levi:I’m sick. Stinking germ-infested seven-year-old.
Levi:If you want to dare the germs, you could come by tonight. Mom’s making homemade chicken noodle soup. The woman can cook, but chicken soup is her best. You really shouldn’t miss out.
Levi:Is your phone dead? Did it fall into the toilet? Or maybe it slipped out of your pocket on your ride home? Hello, stranger, reading Meredith’s texts, please return this phone to the Bike-A-Lot shop on Sherman Ave.
He waited twenty-four hours before sending the last one.
Levi:You’re right. I should have left it alone. This is probably best, for both of us. Disregard my other messages. Have a beautiful life, Meredith. You deserve everything good in the world.
You’re right, he’s written, though I never replied. What is it I’m right about? Silence, I suppose. Not replying to him, I guess. The knife in my heart pushes in a little further.Have a beautiful life,he’s written. Is that his goodbye?
A forever goodbye.
I did tell him I was out. I told him I didn’t need a protector. I said it with faith and hope that Levi would change his mind, that he could be so much more than that.
But maybe I was wrong.
Maybe I’ll never see Levi Bailey again. I’m not sure how—I cried every ounce of liquid out of my body three days ago—but tears spring into my eyes. I blink them away and open up my Instagram app. There’s a notification telling me that Coco sent a message.
Will I never see Coco again?
@coco.crisp.99:If you need to know anything, it is this: My brother is a big dummy. He has feelings for you, Meredith. I’ve never seen Levi this happy—ever.
She wrote the message last night. A few hours after Levi’s last text. Did he talk to her? Did he tell her what he said? And that I never responded. Does she know how he feels? For real.
@merry.bess23:He has such grand feelings that he decided we should never see each other again?
@coco.crisp.99:Tell me he didn’t say that.
@merry.bess23:I’m paraphrasing. But yes.
@coco.crisp.99:I realize that friendships and relationships are semi-new for you. I don’t want to assume anything. But Levi mentioned that you didn’t get out a lot. Here’s what you need to know—men are often clueless. Levi is clueless. He is so busy being sure that he’s not right for you, that he can’t see how right the two of you are together. But Mer, he’s oblivious.
I don’t know what to say back. I don’t want to be afraid to hope. But I also want more than protection from Levi. I want to be desired and loved.
“I am not afraid to hope. I am not afraid to hope,” I whisper the words. I close my eyes and picture them written out. I tap my finger on my comforter, saying each word with each tap. “I am not afraid to hope.”
But the fact is I might be. At least when it comes to Levi.
@merry.bess23:Levi is a smart man. He can figure out what he wants. He isn’t clueless.
38
Levi
“You are the dumbest man ever!” My sister yells at me through the phone. At least this is a call and I’m not getting her stink eye in person. “Do you have any idea what you want?”
“Harsh,” I say, holding out my phone so that Coco doesn’t burst my ear drum. I set my cell onto the desk and hit speaker. She can yell at me from down there. Setting my fingers to the keyboard of my computer, I go to work, typing up forms for new customers.
Maybe she’s yelling because she thinks I’ve gone deaf. Or maybe she really does think I’m just a dummy. But each of Coco’s words stab a little farther into my already busted up heart.
This isn’t about what I want. I’m doing this for Meredith.
“Or even what you deserve?” Coco huffs out a tired breath. “Right now, you deserve a kick in the butt. You are so lucky Beth doesn’t live here.”
“Beth?”
