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“I know,” I sighed. “But I just don’t seem to have a good enough idea yet.”
“Well, at the very least, you need to get a job where you can actually write articles, and maybe that will help inspire your creativity,” Claire interjected.
“Easier said than done!” I huffed.
“I sent my CV to so many places before the London Local. I only got an interview with them and Nostar Publishing, and you know what happened there,” I reminded them.
Feeling dejected, I hid my head in my hands again.
“Yes, honey,but you cannot let a minor setback and an idiot boss stop you from fulfilling your dreams,” she replied.
“You call being told, and I quote, ‘you need a personality to write and, dear, you just don’t have one!’ minor?” I practically screamed in frustration.
“That woman was an idiot. You need to forget what she said and move on,” Marcie said, sounding exasperated, having told me this so many times before.
Oh, oh, here we go, I sighed; time for alet’s lecture Gracie episode! We had these every few weeks or so because the girls didn’t believe I was meeting my“fullest potential.”
I knew they meant well, but I was really not up to this today.
It was easy for them; they both had their life put together. Claire was the up-and-coming big thing in defence law, and Marcie was a highly sought-after event planner with a very successful events company of her own. They were both confident, strong, and successful women who knew what they wanted in life, had gone out and grabbed it with both hand.
While I, on the other hand, was so not.
“Marcie’s right, Gracie,” Claire agreed. “You need to get over that. You are a great writer, and anyone would see that if you could just be a bit more confident in yourself.”
“Why don’t you apply again and send your CV out with that short story you wrote in college that won you the award? It was great,” she encouraged.
“Yeah,” agreed Marcie. “Once they actually read something you have written, I am sure they will jump at the chance to offer you a job.”
“I’ll do it on Monday,” I said, thinking,nope, not happening, I am not risking the abject humiliation of last time ever again.
“She’s procrastinating again,” Claire said.
“Yep.” Marcie nodded; her lips pursed.
That was it; I had officially had enough. I couldn’t handle this today.
“I said I’ll do it!” I shouted before storming out of the kitchen.
I stomped off to my room and banged the door. I winced as the loud noise caused by my immature temper tantrum made me feel even worse.
“Urgh!” I cried and flopped heavily onto my bed.
I wished I could be more like them.
I sat there huffing while I replayed yesterday’s humiliation over and over in a loop, along with the added comment,“You need a personality to write, and dear, you just don’t have one!”
I hated that man! I hated that woman!
Never again, I thought as my anger bubbled up inside me. Never again would I let anyone walk all over me like that!
I was going to be much more assertive and only apologise for things when I was in the wrong.
From now on, I vowed, I would be as confident and sassy as Claire. After all, we were cousins; we came from the same gene pool, so I had to have some sass buried inside me somewhere. Didn’t I? I would just have to dig deep to find it! I might not be confident, but I remembered that saying, ‘Fake it until you make it!’ Yes, I told myself, that was precisely what I needed to do! With this decision made, I took a deep breath and felt the tension leave my body as I exhaled.
There was a soft knock on my door, and Marcie stuck her head in.
“Sorry, sweetie, I didn’t mean to upset you. I just want you to be doing something that will make you happy,” she said, looking contrite before sitting on the bed and hugging me.
