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There’s a knock on my front door before I shout, “Come in!”
My Nashville home is far larger than the one in Cherry Peak. It’s newly built, with five bedrooms, four bathrooms, a home gym, and a pool out back. It’s hardly lived in. Even now, walking down the hallway with expensive tile flooring and the same sad beige paint on the walls as the rest of the house, I feel no pull to the place. No sentimental feeling that ties me to it.
I wasn’t on tour with Killian for very long, so that isn’t an excuse for not . . . caring about this house. For not adding any pieces of myself to it or trying to make it feel more like a home instead of a rental property.
Maybe Anna could help with that. She’d turn this house into a home the moment she stepped inside. No more empty wallsand bare counters. I want photos hung and clutter everywhere. Ugly wallpaper and colourful paint. I’ve never wanted those things before, but now they feel necessary.
“The lack of Christmas decorations in this house is a total eyesore, Brody,” Killian says from the foyer.
The three-time CMA winner and, somehow, close friend of mine kicks off his black boots and shakes out of his leather jacket before slapping me between the shoulders. His grin is electric, happy in a way I’ve always envied, but today, I envy it a little less. I’m not the same guy I was the last time I saw him. Not in the slightest.
“Haven’t been here to set anythin’ up,” I tell him, giving his shoulder a quick squeeze before leading us to the kitchen.
Killian’s been to the house enough times over the years to know his way around. We met through Swift Edge shortly after I signed, and the guy took me under his wing. Helped me transition from Cherry Peak to Nashville, and when the time came after the release of my first album for me to dip my toe into bigger and grander live shows, he requested me as his opener. It was going great. Everything was, until it wasn’t.
I never expected Anna. And I know Killian wasn’t expecting me to find someone to tether me back home either.
We step into the kitchen, and he takes a seat at the long marble island while I grab us both a beer from the fridge. After twisting the caps, I hand him his, and he takes it eagerly.
“How was your Christmas back home?” he asks.
“You tellin’ me you haven’t been keepin’ up with me online?”
He takes a gulp of beer and sets the bottle down with a laugh. “You mean the rag mags were tellin’ the truth the entire time?”
“That depends on what they were sayin’.”
“Only that ya snagged yourself a beauty. Apparently, you’ve moved back home and settled down. Considerin’ that you’re here and not back in Cherry Peak yet, I take it they weren’t all right.”
I shrug. “Half-right. Do have a woman I love and want to settle down with. I’m here tryin’ to make that happen. But I haven’t moved back there. Not full-time.”
“About goddamn time you found a woman. I worried you’d be turnin’ thirty alone with nobody to tuck your old ass into bed.”
“You’re older than me, asshole.”
He winks, tipping back the dewy bottle for another drink. Smacking his lips, he says, “Older in age, not spirit.”
My exhale is heavy. “I wish it was as easy as just movin’ back, but it’s not. You know that just as well as I do.”
“Suppose I do. But I don’t buy that you haven’t been figurin’ out a way to make it work, though.”
“I am. Fuck, I’m tryin’. I don’t suppose you have any advice for me? I feel like I’m completely out of my damn league with this. How do you do it?”
Killian swirls the bottle between his palms and leans over the counter, staring at me hard. “Are you askin’ how I got my woman to stay for keeps or how I’ve made it work with a family in this business?”
“Both. Whatever you’re willin’ to share.”
He nods, eyes burning bright as he speaks. “There’s no simple answer. No magic formula. You just do it. You fight for it. Lila was mine from the moment I saw her, and I knew I’d never be happy again without her with me. Things got hard like they always do with stress and questions, and for guys like you and me, it ain’t easy to put those we love in the spotlight. But there comes a point when you have to ask yourself if you’re alright with fear stealin’ your happiness from you. Still scared shitless of somethin’ happening to my family—that doesn’t ever go away. But seein’ my woman at home with my babies? That’s worth everythin’.”
“You make it sound so simple,” I mutter, an ache growing behind my ribs.
Killian taps the bottom of his bottle to the counter and laughs straight from his gut. “Not a damn thing simple about it. Lila didn’t ask for the expectations that came with being my wife. She never planned to have her privacy invaded and be exposed to nasty comments on her social media every day. I just stepped back and let her choose what she was willin’ to sacrifice in order to be with me and made sure I made up for it elsewhere. That’s what love is, Brody. I’m riskin’ soundin’ like a pussy here, but love’s all about sacrifices. She gives, and I give right back. A balance, y’know?
“You got to trust that your woman knows what she wants and what she’s willin’ to do for it. If she’s tellin’ you she’s in, then fuckin’ hell, man, take her at her word and bring her in. Believe her when she says she’s good and thinks you’re worth it. You don’t turn away a woman like that. Especially when you love the shit outta her the way you do.”
I drop my elbows to the counter and let his words filter through my mind. “I’m lucky to have you in my life, Kill. You’re a hell of a lot wiser than I’ve ever given you credit for.”
“Ah, don’t go soft on me just yet. Wait until you’ve actually got your woman for keeps.”
