AllFreeNovel
Share Us
But, fuck, what can I do to get her back?
I pace, back and forth, back and forth, the worn carpet beneath my feet a testament to hours spent trapped in this room with nothing but the chaos of my own thoughts.
And then it comes to me.
The game. The championship.
It's everything I've worked for, sweat for, bled for—it's supposed to be my ticket out, my future. But what is a future without her?
My fists clench and unclench as a bead of sweat trickles down my temple. It's a fever inside me, this need to make things right with Autumn. She's the prize I never deserved, the win I need more than any trophy or title. Without her in the stands, it's just a hollow victory, echoes in an empty stadium.
"Fuck the game," I mutter, the words tasting like defeat and defiance all at once. My heart hammers against my ribcage, each beat a reminder of what I'm risking—my dreams, my scholarships, my reputation. But then there's her—Autumn, with eyes that hold the softness of dawn and the strength of the deepest roots. Can I be the man who deserves those eyes?
The silence is suffocating, pressing down on me until I feel like I'm splintering from the inside out. I can't play. Not without her forgiveness, not without her light shining down on the field, guiding me through every play, every touchdown. She's more than my muse. She's my conscience, my compass, my redemption.
"God damn it," I curse aloud, the sound ricocheting off the walls. I swipe the back of my hand across my forehead, smearing away the evidence of my internal war. I have to face her, have to lay my heart bare, even if it means ripping it from my chest and offering it up to her judgement.
And so, I go to her.
The library is silent, sacred ground, filled with the whispers of pages turning and the distant hum of fluorescent lights. There, in the far corner, is Autumn—the girl who haunts my every waking moment, the ghost in all my sleepless nights.
"Autumn," I breathe out, my voice no more than a tremor in the stillness.
She doesn't look up, too lost in her own sorrow, her tears a silent testimony to the pain I've caused. My footsteps are tentative, almost reverent, as I close the distance between us. I'm a sinner stepping into a church, unworthy and seeking absolution.
"Autumn, please, look at me," I plead, my throat tight, my resolve shattering. Still, she won't look at me, and that flays me deeper than any knife. "I won't play. Not without you. That's how much I love you."
Her name is a prayer on my lips, her forgiveness the salvation I'm desperate to find. I'm laid open, flayed by my own emotions, stripped of every defense except the raw truth in my eyes.
"Autumn, I'm begging you," I say, each word a piece of my soul, an offering. "Forgive me."
I don't know if she can ever forgive the darkness that has shadowed my love for her, the obsession that drove me to claim her in ways no one should be claimed. But here, now, I am nothing but a man standing before a woman, asking her to see the heart that beats only for her.
The silence is deafening, the air between us charged with a thousand unspoken words. Autumn's eyes finally lift, meeting mine, and I'm scorched by the turmoil swirling within their depths—anger, confusion, pain...love?
"Autumn," I whisper, my voice breaking like glass on concrete.
Her lips tremble, caught in the grip of emotions that war against each other, the blood-red hue betraying her bite to keep them contained. Her hands, delicate as the wings of a butterfly, quiver in her lap, clenched tight enough to drain the color from her knuckles.
"Say something, please," I beg, my heart slamming against my ribs, a frantic drum demanding resolution.
She inhales sharply, a ragged attempt at composure that fails to mask the fragility of her state. "Brennan, I..." The words hitch, strangled by her indecision, her fear.
"Autumn, I swear, I'll make this right." My hand reaches out, an entity with its own desperate need, and when my fingers brush the silken waterfall of her hair, the world narrows to just this touch. My hand shakes as I tuck a wild strand behind her ear, the simple act a pledge, a vow, a lifeline thrown into the stormy sea that rages between us.
"Look at me," I implore, my blue gaze locking onto hers, willing her to see past the monster, to the man who lays his soul bare before her. "I'll do anything. Whatever it takes. I will earn your trust again, walk through fire, become someone worthy."
Her breath catches, and for a moment, she's frozen, a sculpture carved from the most exquisite pain and longing.
"Anything?" Her voice is a whisper, but it echoes like a shout in the void of my existence.
"Anything," I affirm, the word carved from the marrow of my bones. "Even if it takes a lifetime." My heart spills into my tone, raw and unguarded, spilling dark, intense promises into the space between us.
Her eyes search mine, delving deep, seeking the truth that pulses in the fervent beat of my heart. I know she sees it—the depth of my obsession, the fierce desire that has always been hers alone. The power she holds over me, the darkness that has entwined our lives.
I reach for her, my fingers trembling as they trace the line of her jaw. Her skin is electric under my touch, a current that shocks straight to my soul. She's my lifeline, the only thing keeping me from drowning in the abyss I've created.
"Autumn," I breathe out, desperation lacing each syllable. "I'm nothing without you."
