AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Yes, I have it,” she says mockingly as she leans in to kiss my cheek. “Now, don’t wait up, Braxton. This one is a real keeper. I can just feel it. He’s just gonna sweep me off my feet.”
I want to tell her that he’s not. I want to rage, but I don’t. A guy in a suit who’s eating at a diner around here probably isn’t staying long. He’s probably here for work, probably coordinating with one of the small businesses or even a farmer. He’ll inevitably use her and then dump her, leaving her in shambles. Then it will be up to me to go and pick up the pieces. I’m so fucking tired of it I could scream, but instead of voicing any of that, I just nod my head and force a smile for her. “I sure hope so, Mom.”
“Oh babe, always the pessimist. Stop being so negative. It will make your face wrinkle.”
I prefer to be called a realist, but it’s not worth saying that. Reality isn’t a big thing with my mother. And listen, she has wrinkles even though she’s ever the optimist, so that has nothing to do with it. Plus, I’m sure the chain-smoking doesn’t help her skin.
But I don’t say that either.
No, I bite my tongue because I pity her. It’s not really fair that she was saddled alone with an infant when she was so young. And I know she doesn’t do any of this on purpose. She’s just searching for her happiness. That’s why we’ve moved around a lot, slinking from town to town when her heart was too broken to stand it all. But nevertheless, not a day goes by that I don’t want to get the hell out of this house, away from her, away from this responsibility.
And now we’re here in Kansas. The worst place ever. And yet, it’s growing on me.
It’s more than I thought it would be, that’s for sure. But then again, I worry if maybe I’m just like her. If I’m setting all my hopes and dreams on a man.
She blows me a kiss and leaves as I stand on the creaky porch. The entire time she’s backing out of the driveway I think about how this damn guy couldn’t even come pick her up. He’s just letting her drive to god knows where to get his rocks off. I sigh as her headlights fade into the distance and then make my way to my sad, lonely bedroom and strip down, lying on the bed and dreading when this all falls apart.
Honestly, I hope it’s quick. I hope he doesn’t lead her on for too long. Because a nice quick relationship is easier to deal with than a long-drawn-out heartache. When a guy strings her along for months, promising her a future and happiness only to let her down, that’s when she really falls apart. That’s when she misses work shifts and can’t get out of bed. When she loses her job andwe get evicted. When she says that it’s the heartbreak forcing her from town.
Thankfully, my job is steady and it’s kept us from actually getting kicked out, but it’s always a fear in the back of my mind. I’m always tense. Always worried. Never sure what the next day will bring.
Except when I’m with him.
He really is the light in all this dark.
My nightlight.
Damn it all to hell. My lips actually twitch when I think about Jimbob and how he makes me feel. He doesn’t need to be taken care of. Not at all. He’s happy to do everything on his own, even lives by himself.
He’s kind and takes care of others.
I close my eyes and sink into sleep.
Yeah, Jimbob’s not a bad choice.
I’m not like my mom.
Not at all.
eight
. . .
jimbob
The merry whistlethat leaves my lips is slightly off-tune as I walk into the feed store. Might be because I knowhe’sworking today. And yeah, maybe that’s a little stalker-ish of me, but honestly, I can’t bring myself to care. I loved yesterday. I loved every bit of it from the hayride to the hot as hell things we did sitting by the fire. Only to finish it off by cuddling in the living room.
It was damn near perfect.
Perfect would have been him staying the night and waking up with him in my arms. That would have been a dream come true. That prickly pear becomes as soft as a marshmallow when he’s with me. Might take a few hours, but I can see how soft he gets. Like melted chocolate.
But when I gently woke him when the movie was over, he nearly sprinted out of the house, and I guess I understand him wanting to go home. I like my house an awful lot, takes a lot forme to want to leave it overnight. But I don’t get the feeling that’s the same for him. I wish he’d tell me more about himself, about what makes him tick, but I don’t want to be pushy.
You know, aside from showing up at his work and creeping on him.
A grin lifts my lips as I walk up to my mom’s coffee stand, my eyes constantly searching for my man. Well, not mine, but he sure feels that way. Might as well add possessive to the stalkery and creepy bits. Not much more can be done. I’ve trespassed past normal and am in full creep territory now.
I have accepted my fate.
