AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I know we’ve got a little bit of complicated history, but I’ve loved all of the things we’ve been together, and your friendship…she misspelled friendship.”
“Didn’t she do well in school?”
“She forgot then, so it’s a fried ship instead. I’m going to guess she’s just distracted thinking about girls.”
“Yeah, I’d believe it…”
She cleared her throat. “I know friendships end, and sometimes it’s for the better. Talking with Priscilla lately about her traveling really drives home how sometimes, if you love someone, you really have to let them go.
“I know how much this journey has meant for you. All this time I’ve known you, you’ve been singularly focused on this one thing, this one path, in a way where nothing can stop you.
“I think that’s what I liked about you the most. But seeing Priscilla come into her own in a way that feels right to her makes it clear how yours is different.
“I don’t think you’re doing any of this for yourself. I think you’re trying to run from something. And if you run from yourself, it’s always going to find you.
“I’d support you taking your career to the next level in New York if it was what you wanted. But you and I know it’s not what you want. Priscilla knows it, too.”
Paisley frowned. I raised an eyebrow, and she looked away.
“Next part mentions me.”
“Ah.” Because of course it did.
“And so does Paisley.”
I let out a long breath, just watching rain slide in long streaks down the window. Quietly, Paisley continued.
“There’s a lot of people here who really like you. As you actually are, not as the version of you that you feel like you’re supposed to perform.
“I guess you probably have a rule that drives this thing you’re doing. Some kind of sacred code. You always did seem to follow some other set of rules only you could see.
“I’m just saying, sometimes you need to check in and make sure those rules are worth living by. Because there are a lot of rules that deserve to be broken.
“Do it not just for us, for me and Scil and Emberlynn and all the others, not just for Paisley, but for yourself. No matter who you love, the person it comes back to the most at the end of every day is you. Scil’s really helped me see that life is a journey to love yourself, in all that you really are. Think I owe it to her at least to pass that one on from her to you.”
Paisley leaned back in her seat, halfway folding the letter back.
“And then down at the bottom,” she said, “there’s a note.Besides, I’m going to hunt you to the ends of the earth to bake a cake for Scil’s graduation party. You make the best cakes, and she deserves it. Don’t let me down.And then,love, Annabel.” She wrinkled her nose. “Ugh.Love.Hands off my girl.”
Paisley had said things like that so many times… surprise really that I didn’t already know she was in love with me. Seemed Aria had been right about her after all.
I rubbed my temple, a nervous feeling tossing and turning in my chest. So many things I couldn’t name, but the one thing I could name was that Paisley looked so beautiful like this—although thinking back, I wasn’t sure there was ever a time shewasn’tbeautiful—and I—
“Well, anyway, she’s right,” Paisley said, putting the letter away in her bag, which would have been a more sensible place than her bra to begin with. “You can’t run away from your problems and hide behind a mountain of work to avoid facing your own identity crisis.”
I shot her a look. “I’m sorry. Who is this right now who’s saying that?”
“Oh, well.” She scratched her head. “It’s different when it’s me.”
“Uh-huh.”
“Iknowit hasn’t been healthy and happy and… and… right. But what else even could I do? Chase you down to New York and ask you to come back with me?” She looked away. “That’s clearly Emberlynn’s thing. And besides, you’d… you’d…” She shrugged helplessly, looking smaller and smaller. “You’d just refuse anyway. And then that would be a really sad flight home.”
I pursed my lips, looking down at my food.
Never thought me disappearing would hurt people. After all, I was just… just a ghost. And who missed a ghost?
“You don’t even know where I live in New York,” I opted for saying, sipping at my beer just for something to occupy my hands. Paisley smiled.
