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Only for like… the past week. Or several. God, Emberlynn’s family was visiting after the weekend, and I’d completely blanked.
“You can’t just close my bakery,” I said, and she smiled.
Ugh. I got what she was thinking. I scowled at her.
“Okay, look.Ican close down the bakery when I know someone needs a break, but…”
She smiled. I groaned.
“Jeez, since when were you such a party fiend that you’re going to shut everything down to get me there?”
She tucked her hair back behind her ear. “I’m pretty sure Emberlynn and Aria put it on just to get a chance to talk to you, so… they were also putting out the word that you were closing early today.”
I got a sick feeling turning in my stomach. “I don’t need people gathering around me to patronize me, pat me on the shoulder—”
“I know. You need something a lot bigger than that, don’t you?”
I shot her a look. She smiled, softly, sweetly.
“It’s okay to need what you need, Paisley. The whole purpose of changing how you come across to the world isn’t to change your needs, it’s to make it more likely you’ll get those needs met.”
I raked my fingers back through my hair. “Kay really chatted to the whole town about my insecurities, didn’t she?”
She cleared her throat. “I mean, she tried to keep it a secret. But you know how it is… saying unpromptedPaisley isn’t feeling any insecurities around how she fits into the world, so I don’t know anything about why she’s suddenly doing these kinds of things.”
“Remind me never to tell her anything again.” I sighed, leaning back against the wall behind the counter. Being forced out of my routine shook me out of the trance, and I wasn’t sure if I liked being out of it, but I was out of it now. “Is she at the party? I kind of owe her an apology…”
“She is. And I can promise you she doesn’t blame you.”
I looked out the window, watching the tree branches scrape on the glass. Priscilla followed my gaze, letting the silence steep before she spoke again.
“You’ve taken on quite the project, Paisley. It’s honestly impressive. So I wanted to ask if you… do you like the results?”
“Doesn’t matter.” The words tumbled out automatically.
She smiled. “You really are just like her, aren’t you?”
I scoffed. “We don’t talk about her.”
“Just think about her?”
“I’m done thinking about her.”
She didn’t say anything. I shifted, a heavy weight in my stomach, and I heard my voice come out smaller.
“I, um… I dunno. I’m kind of just on autopilot.”
“The same way you were before?”
“What? It’s nothing like that.” But I scrunched up my face, a nervous feeling turning in my stomach. Priscilla just smiled at me, and it was overwhelming before too long, and I looked away, back to the window. “This is the life that I designed.”
“So was the old one. And every day, in its own way. I think we’re all continually rediscovering ourselves. Isn’t that what life is? If you only wanted one static thing, one experience, read a book. Watch a movie. Isn’t the whole point of life this—to be able to change everything, do anything?”
I sighed. My head hurt.
“What’s the point of trading out one form ofliving life for other peoplefor another?”
“I’m living life for me.”
