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The cake was really good, though.
Finally, Harper spoke in a quiet whisper, looking down at her plate. “I… just think it’s the next step forward. They were impressed with my performance in the competition. It’s areallygood position. And progress… I need to be making progress.”
I pursed my lips, and I didn’t want my voice to come out sounding pitiful, but I didn’t get everything I wanted. “Are you going to come back…?”
She winced, and that was all the answer I needed. “I don’t… know.”
“Ugh. Dammit. If you’d told me normally, I would have been happy for you. And celebrated you. And, and… and…”
“I… meant to.” She hung her head. “I was just afraid you’d… hate me for it, I guess.”
Harper was the kind of girl who always composed herself with so much strength, an unbreakable pillar. But there were the little cracks like this, where you could see through the concrete walls and saw a scared little girl who was always so afraid to let herself have anything good, posing as someone different,someone stronger, and it always gave me feelings I wasn’t prepared for when I saw it.
I looked down at my cake. “You really thought I’d hate you?”
“I don’t know. Maybe that I’d hate myself. Either way, doesn’t really matter, now that you’ve invited yourself into my personal files.”
“I didn’t check yourpersonalemail, just your work one.”
She rubbed her forehead. “Lovely. What a relief.”
“Itisa relief. Now all the newsletters for sex toy boutiques you’re signed up to, I don’t see them.”
She dragged a hand over her face. “And I’m supposed to believe that when you comment on them?”
I paused. “Um. I was just making a joke. I didn’t know you actually got any.”
“Oh.”
The room fell into silence. The wind rumbled in the window frame. A furious blush spilled over Harper’s face as she looked away.
“What are you subscribed to—”
“Shh—shut up.”
“What? You can’t drop something like that and not give me the deets.”
“I wasn’t trying to drop anything!” She was blushing all the way down to her neck now, tinting around the floral tattoos she had there. She looked cute when she was like this.
“I’m gonna start guessing.”
“I’ll jump from the window.”
“Is it, like, you bought something and you got a discount for signing up—”
“Paisley.”
“What’d you get?”
“A wand vibrator! Shut up!”
I dropped back in my chair. “That’s it? That’s so basic. From how you were reacting, I was expecting fetish gear or something.”
She buried her face in her hands. “Oh my god. Thank you for sealing the decision. I cannot leave Bayview quickly enough.”
I sighed, taking a bite of cake and savoring the creaminess of the frosting, impossibly rich buttercream and a complex vanilla. “So,” I said finally, “you actually mean it. You’re going to leave Bayview. At the end of next month.”
She was quiet, staring down at the floor, before—small, timid—she nodded.
