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“Harper?” I said.
“Hey,” she said, and it was even hervoice—I’d all but forgotten her voice. She was so guarded, her voice, her posture—scared. “Sorry to drop in without warning. I, um… heard you landed in the hospital. Thought I’d… check in.”
“Check in?” I heard myself say. “On me?”
“Annabel… er…” She shifted uncomfortably. “I didn’t… hear what happened, exactly. Just that you were here. So I… came.”
“You came. Here.” Something felt like bubbling, boiling syrup in my chest. My arms burned, out to my fingertips, tingling with the sensation. “You just up and disappear, just—just cut us all off like none of it ever even meant anything—and then you justwalkright back in through the door sayinghey therelike everything’s cool?”
She winced. “I’m… sorry. I can go. Christ, I don’t know what I’m doing, I should have called, texted, anything, just—”
“Should,if we’re talkingshouldthen maybe youshouldhave just told me if you wanted me out of your life completely,” I shot, my face burning now as I swiveled out of the bed. “Could have gotten lost earlier if that’s what you wanted.”
“Paisley—that’s not what I—”
It felt like she’d just punched me in the face.Paisley.Hearing her say my namehurt.It hurt in a completely unhingedoh-my-god-make-it-stop-nowkind of pain that drove me out of my mind, and I couldn’t even let her finish. “Just—just—justgoif it’s what you want,” I blurted. “I get it. You thought you were obligated to come back here, see me. Well, thanks, turns out I’m just fine, now you can fuck off back to Never Never Land again and just disappear—”
My voice cracked. I winced. Harper shrank under the blows, her hands up, and she swallowed hard. “All right,” she said, her voice small, beaten, broken. That wasn’tfair.Now I just wanted to cry, hug her. “I’ll go. Sorry. I just… I’m sorry.”
She turned back to the door, and I wanted to scream and cry and grab her and keep her here and tell her she was never allowed to leave again, but I couldn’t find it in me to do anything other than watch numbly as she left the room, shutting the door behind her. The blood pounded in my ears, and I felt regret drip thick and noxious in my throat, staring at a closed door wondering if it was a metaphor. A door shut in front of me, something I couldn’t get through.
I hated metaphors.
I stood up at some point, and my heart was racing as I staggered over to the window, looking out at the quiet garden path a story below. Harper went by only a second later, and I clenched my hands on the windowsill, watching her go.
Dammit. It really was her.
I pushed the window open wider, stepped into my slippers, and I vaulted out, dropping deftly into the bushes. My heart raced for a lot more reasons than just the exertion, coming down into the cool, quiet night, crickets chirping around us, the air damp and tasting like mulch, and Harper stopped, turning back to me before she did a double take.
“I—Paisley?”
“Who else jumps out of windows around here?” I stood up, brushing the leaves off of myself.
“I swear to—you’rehospitalized,you can’t go jumping out of windows like that.”
I took a step forward, onto the paved path, and I just… stopped, looking at her. “Oh my god, it is you.”
She winced again. Here in the low light of a garden lamp casting her in stark contrast from one side, she was just so… Idon’t know. Something about seeing every feature of her face in sharp clarity, like… like it was Harper.Harper.
I’d missed her.
“I told you, I’m sorry—”
“You fucking idiot,” I said, and apparently I’d started crying, because my voice came out rough between tears, and I stepped forward and hugged her. “It’s notthathard to remember my number. It ends in three-three-three. That’s easy stuff.”
She tensed up, holding her hands up, and I prayed silently justbeggingin my mind for her to hold me, for her not to pull away. “Am I supposed to be bringing you back to your—”
“Ugh, I’m fine. Honestly. Just a little malnourished. And Emberlynn would tell you overworked, but don’t listen to her.”
“Paisley…” She trailed off before, slowly, tenderly, she put her hands on my back, and it felt like pieces falling into place. Like everything was right and exactly where it was supposed to be.
Like I could breathe, dammit.
“I’m glad you’re all right,” she whispered. I sniffled, burying my face against her collar, and I stopped when I felt the solid shape of a pearl necklace underneath her shirt.
Dammit. This woman.
I gripped tighter at the sides of her jacket, and I managed to breathe out a sentence. “It’s… it’s nice to see you again.”
