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Lucien had known how much I burned for her. From the very first day I heard her argue with her mother, I was lost.
“I would rather eat a pinecone than wear that silly corset, Mother. There is absolutely no reason to adhere to a societal norm of a society in which I have no interest in participating.”
She was ten, and I twelve, and I knew then that I would do anything for her. But that was before I was a soldier. Before Julian lost his mind and his sense of right and wrong. Before I seriously debated committing treason.
Now, my love would come at a price—a price I never wanted her to pay. If I did what I’d set out to do, Aurelia would be in danger.
Lucien crowded her, putting himself in her space much closer than polite society would allow, but Aurelia didn’t appear to mind one bit. She gazed up at him, grinning, happy—until she felt my eyes on her. She shifted her gaze to me, her blush paling as her smile fell. An expression of fear passed over her features, and she dropped her head to stare at the vegetables she was purchasing. She thought I’d tell or cause a scene.
Oh, how wrong she was.
To fight the urge to rip his head off, I pivoted from the woman I coveted more than anything on this planet, attempting to school my features into something resembling calm.
I didn’t hate Lucien. I envied him. Because he had her love. He had her trust. He had her, and while I could possibly one day have her future, I wouldn’t be her first love. I wouldn’t be her first anything—except maybe her first hate.
“Rhys, I need to talk to you,” a voice called from behind me—Lucien’s voice.
Of course he needs to talk to me.
I halted my quick clip through the forest on my way to the cliff top—needing to fly, to be free, if only for a little while. So naturally, I would get stopped when I was a meager inch away from losing my mind.
“What do you need, Lucien?” I growled, not turning around. I didn’t want to see his smug, gloating smile—otherwise I’d likely punch it right off his stupid face.
“I have a problem. I’m pretty sure you’re the only person I can trust.”
“You can’t trust me.” I chuckled darkly. “You shouldn’t even talk to me. I sure as hell don’t want to talk to you. Congratulations. You won. She loves you. You’d better love her back, and as long as you do, you don’t get to ask a damn thing from me.”
I’d made up my mind about a few things. I had to fix my brother, Julian—one way or another—and then I had to leave. Watching them together was the worst sort of Hell.
“How long do you think they are going to wait for her to decide, Rhys? She has pushed and pushed as long as she can, but soon enough, they’ll stop asking. They’ll decide for her. She’s… they… she’s carrying my child,” he admitted, the words gushed past his lips, slicing their way into my heart.
Lucien’s youthful face was lined in worry and fear. Had I ever looked that young? Had I ever been that earnest? Did he honestly believe I wouldn’t rip him apart?
“We married in secret months ago. We’ve kept it from everyone, but she will start to show soon enough.” He gripped the back of his neck, his frustration and fear evident. “As soon as we can, we’re leaving. But I need help…”
He said more about the Aegis, about Aurelia, about malicious leaders. But I didn’t pay much attention to him. The only thing that ran through my head was Lucien’s voice telling me I’d never have her.
She’s carrying my child. We married in secret.
A strange buzzing took over the thoughts in my head as I left him behind me. My phase ripped through me, the burn of my Fireskin chased away his voice, the ache of my wings bursting from my back providing refuge as I soared off the cliff. The wind whipped through my feathers and past my ears, deadening my senses.
If only for a moment.
Chapter Six
AURELIA—1855
Mother barred my escape, her features lined in disapproval, bordering on disgust. She didn’t understand me. I wasn’t even sure she loved me. In fact, I was almost certain she didn’t. In all my life, I had never garnered a smile from her, never a kind word or gentle touch. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been hugged or confided in, or anything resembling the families I’d observed in our community. My family shunned me in private and scolded me in public.
Don’t run.
Don’t speak so loudly.
Remember your manners.
Act like a lady.
Do what you’re told.
