Page 7 of First Down


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Last year, feeling his closeness, even when we weren’t right by each other, was one of the best parts of dating. I could look across the room and find his eyes on me, even when he was talking to his friends. Whenever I went to one of his games, there would be a moment where he looked back into the stands, somehow found me, and winked.

His attention set my skin on fire in a good way. Now? My skin is still on fire, but out of annoyance and embarrassment.

I shouldn’t have come tonight.

I don’t know which is worse, dreading the moment his drunken ass will try to sweet-talk me back into bed, or seeing him accept the flirtations of some football groupie sorority pledge. I know better than anyone how weak he is for a girl who promises him she’s his biggest fan.

Across the room, the front door opens and three guys dressed in black suits walk in. Two of them have dark hair; the third’s is blond. He heads into the party right away, and soon one of the dark-haired ones, the one with the beard and a roguish grin, heads to the dance floor with a girl. That leaves the third guy. The one who has my attention. Unlike the guy I’m assuming is his brother, he doesn’t have a beard. I can’t stop staring at his perfect jawline, the way his thick hair curls over his forehead. He’s tall and obviously built, and the way he looks around... it’s like he notices every detail.

Including me.

I swallow, trying to act casual as I feel his gaze on me. Then Bo Sanders, one of Darryl’s teammates, goes over to say hi to him. Is he a football guy, then? He must be new, since I don’t recognize him, and I spent a lot of time with the team last season.

I down the rest of my warm beer and make my way through the dance floor. Someone stomps on my foot, which knocks me back into Laura. She giggles, gripping me in a tight hug. “Bex! Aren’t you having the best time!”

Barry presses another drink into my hands. “It’s cold!” he shouts unnecessarily.

This beer is blessedly less lukewarm, so I take a gulp. Laura kisses me on the cheek, her arms still wrapped around me, swaying us in a circle. I can smell her signature orange blossom perfume along with the beer on her breath.

“Hey,” I say. “I’m going to head out.”

Her lips, still somehow perfectly black with matte lipstick, curve into a pout. “What? No way! We’re just getting started!”

“Darryl’s here.”

“Darryl?” she says loudly. “Where?”

My stomach pinches in on itself. I pull her away from the dance floor, back into the shadows. “Stop, you’ll summon him.”

She roots her feet in place and refuses to go another step. Even though she’s tipsy, her eyes are clear as she looks at me. “Bex, it’s okay. Don’t tip-toe around him, show him you’re fine.”

My voice cracks as I respond. “But what if I’m not?”

The pain in my words must register to Laura because she throws Barry an apologetic look and drags me off. We go upstairs, past a few different couples in various states of hooking up, and stop in front of one of the doors. Laura pounds on it. Someone shouts at us to go away, but she just jiggles the handle until it swings open, revealing a shirtless dude pulling up his pants and a girl adjusting her braless, backless dress.

“What is your problem?” she shrieks.

“Out!” Laura says with such ferocity they don’t argue. She pulls me inside and makes me sit down on the edge of the tub, locking the door and leaning against it. She blows the hair out of her eyes and takes a deep breath.

“Do you want to get back together with him?” she says.

“No,” I say immediately.

“Do you still love him?”

“God no.”

“Good. Because he’s a jerk. Hooking up with random cleat-chasing chicks.”

I grimace. Last spring, I stumbled upon all the sexting, and then the story of his side pieces unraveled, and that had been thelast blow in a rapidly unwinding relationship. I met Darryl at a party like this my first semester at McKee, and the prospect of having a real boyfriend for the first time since high school was too tempting to resist. During the football season, it was easy to be with him; he was so busy that he didn’t mind me being busy as well, as long as I went to all the home games. But after the season imploded and the spring semester rolled around, he became clingy, overprotective, and downright annoying—while at the same time cheating on me with a couple of football groupies.

Despite me making it clear that I wanted to break up, he spent the summer texting and calling like he thought there was a chance I’d change my mind. Darryl Lemieux is not used to being told no, especially by women.

Now all the distance I built up over the summer, with him being home in Massachusetts and me still in New York, has vanished in one night, at one crummy party.

“I know,” I say. “I’m not... I’m just dreading it, you know? He’s going to try to rekindle things, and when he realizes I can’t do that, he’ll act like a baby. That’s what he did the entire time we were together. Someone doesn’t give him what he wants, he complains. It’s like he thinks that just because he can catch a stupid football, he’s some sort of god.”

Laura sits down next to me on the edge of the tub. She glances back and makes a face. “Ugh. Someone needs to clean this bathroom, it’s nasty. Nice showerhead though.”

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