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Sam filled my last days in Hawaii with work — a cover shoot for some magazine. An anti-drug PSA. The table read for my next project, with me Zooming in. I hardly had a moment to catch my breath, much less any time to spend with Lacey.
I could’ve fought Sam on some of it, that cover shoot. My career wouldn’t fizzle if I wasn’t on newsstands reminding America how rugged I was. But I didn’t fight him. I didn’t make a peep. Truth was, I was desperate to be with Lacey. I wanted that so badly I felt it in my body — not in a metaphorical sense, but a physical ache. My chest hurt when I thought of her. I couldn’t breathe. I got a weird headache, like my brain had gone tight, and nothing took the edge off but the thought of Lacey. I knew if I held her, stroked her fine hair, that tightness would vanish like it had never been.
I popped an aspirin instead. This had been a mistake. I’d let her in just a little, and my pain was real. Deep. Every moment I spent with her would just make it worse, so I did the cowardly thing. I escaped into work.
Our last day rolled around in the blink of an eye, and me and Lacey shooting our final scene together. The whole cast had gathered to watch us bring it home, to hear Berg yellcutfor the very last time. There wasn’t much to our scene, but the tension was electric, the cast and crew restless, a charge in the air. Berg shooed the crowd back and I tried to focus.
“One more time,” said Berg. “I know you’re all antsy to get to your party, but I need quiet on set. Eric, ignore them.”
I turned my back on the cameras and gazed out to sea. Berg had carted in garbage and strewn it behind me, all down the beach in great mounds and swathes. It made me think of Lacey’s trash beach, and that made me think of Lacey. Of us.
“Quiet,” called Berg. “Okay, we’re rolling. Quiet… and, action.”
I waded into the ocean up to my knees. Scooped up salt water and splashed it in my face. Behind me, Lacey picked her way down the beach, skirting the trash piles. She spotted me in the ocean and came up behind me, and slipped her slim arms around my waist. I leaned back against her with a sigh and a shudder.
“Lock,” she said.
I choked on a sob.
“Look at me, Lock.”
I didn’t turn around, because she wasn’t real. Kate wasn’t real. She’d died years ago. The sun hung low in the sky and the horizon burned crimson, and I stared at the sunset till it made my eyes water. Lacey let go of me and waded around me, deeper and deeper until she went under. I heard her resurface a few moments later, off to one side and out of the shot, but I kept my gaze trained on the molten red sky.
“Cut,” shouted Berg. “And, that’s a wrap!”
A loud cheer went up. The cast all rushed in. Berg shouted at us to watch the trash, not to kick any into the ocean. I searched for Lacey, seized with sudden panic. I couldn’t see her anywhere. Couldn’t pick out her voice. I hadn’t seen her come out of the ocean. A hundred awful visions struck me at once — Lacey stung by a jellyfish, struggling and drowning. Lacey’s foot caught on some ocean debris. A riptide. A cramp. A killer shark. I spun around, breathless with horror and loss, and there she was, dripping, toweling her hair.
“Lacey,” I whispered. My knees had gone weak. I started toward her, but the crew had closed in, everyone wanting to share in the moment.
“You were great,” said one of the makeup guys. “You and Lacey both. Some stars are a nightmare like you wouldn’t believe, but you two were perfect. A dream to work on.”
I found it in me to smile and to thank him. To thank the whole crew and high-five with the cast, and let Berg talk down to me one last time.
“I had my doubts about you,” he said. “If you had the range. But I had to have Lacey, and you, I was right. Whatever it is between you, the two of you…boom.” He made a mushroom cloud gesture,poofwith his fists. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to sock him or laugh. So, he’d hired me for Lacey. She’d been his big get. I scanned for her in the crowd, hoping she’d heard that, but she’d dipped out of sight.
“She went off with Grace, if you’re looking for Lacey.” Her assistant had come up out of nowhere. “She’s changing into some dry clothes, then she’s hitting the party.”
“I should get changed as well,” I said, and turned to go. But by the time I broke free and made it back to the trailers, Lacey was changed and headed back up the beach. They’d set up the party at a beachside cantina a few hundred yards from our last shoot. I could hear it already, swinging into high gear, the band, the cast cheering, the popping of fireworks.
“So noisy,” said Berg, stepping down from his trailer. “An hour’s enough, right, for me not to be rude?”
I thought itwaskind of rude of him, ditching out early, but I doubted he’d be much fun at a party. “An hour’s fine,” I said. “Thank the crew, buy a round or two, and I’d say you’re golden.”
Berg made a huffing sound and headed for his limo. I followed Lacey on foot, but I couldn’t find her. I searched the crowd for a glimpse of her golden hair, but half the crew was blond, and the dance floor was hopping. She wasn’t by any of the three busy bars, or up by the stage watching the band play.
I was about to give up and shout out her name when I felt a delicate tap on my shoulder. I spun on my heel, and my breath left my body. Lacey hadn’t just dried off back in her trailer; she’d slipped into the most stunning white-and-gold dress, and a necklace with green stones to bring out her eyes. In the lights of the club, she sparkled like dewdrops. Like the sun on a rose at the first hint of dawn, gold, white, and green and too perfect to touch. I must have been staring, because she flushed a bright shade of pink. Her lips moved, but the band was too loud.
“I didn’t catch that,” I said.
She cocked her head. “What?”
I pulled her away from the crowd and leaned in to shout. “I said you look stunning.”
She laughed. “I can’t hear you. Were you asking—”
A loud “cheers” went up, drowning her out. Glasses clinked, a cork popped, and the band swung into high gear.
“Let’s dance,” I yelled.
