AllFreeNovel
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“We thought you forgot us.”
“Aren’t you too famous now for the likes of us?”
I shook my head. “Hey, everyone… Hey, John, Marcy, Trevor.” I waved at a few of my fellow old stalwarts. “You mind if I sneak in, or would that mess with your flow?”
“Screw our flow,” said Marcy. “Get in here.” She opened her arms and trapped me in a bear hug. “I know you’ve been busy, but a whole year off? Really?”
“I know, I’m so sorry. I have no excuse.”
“Well, you’re here now, so come on. You’re up. You remember the rules, right? No sideline-sitting.”
“Wait, can’t I—”
“Nope! You’ve been slacking a year. Leave your stinky gym bag outside and go on. Get up there.”
I took my place on the low platform that passed for a stage, and Trevor winked at me and yelled out my theme.
“You’re so famous you’ve stopped being able to see the non-famous. Like, they’re literally invisible. You don’t know they’re there.”
I shot him a dirty look, but he wasn’t done.
“And you’re in a public bathroom, and none of the locks work.”
Giggles went up, but I kept a straight face. John and some new girl hopped up on stage and grabbed a couple of chairs to stand in for toilets. They sat down, and I mimed walking in on the new girl. She shrieked and covered her crotch.
“Hey! What the hell?”
I took out my phone and mimed making a phone call. The girl kicked at me, outraged.
“This isn’t a phone booth. Can’t you see I’m, like, peeing?”
I plopped down on her lap and started to chat.
John called from the next stall, “Hey, what’s the ruckus?”
“This girl just sat on me. It’s like she doesn’t see me. I’ve heard of women being invisible once they hit thirty, but this is ridiculous.”
John pulled up his fake pants and flushed his fake toilet, and ambled over to check on our stall.
“I can see you just fine,” he said. “And I see the problem. She’s too famous to see you. She can only see other famous folk, so you need to go viral.”
That got a laugh. The new girl squirmed.
“So, what, to get rid of her, I need to get famous?”
“Take a selfie,” said John. “Friends who crap together… get on the map together?”
She mimed taking a selfie, her head pressed to mine.
“Ooh, it’s getting likes.Swipestylesjust shared it! Five hundred… a thousand… ten thousand, a hundred! A hundred thousand! Fuck balls, I’m famous!”
I jumped up like a bug had just bitten my ass. “What? Where didyoucome from? Bathrooms are private!”
“I’ve been here the whole time.”
“What? No, you haven’t.”
“Yeah, I have. You just sat on my lap.”
