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Holy crap.
“Dad, I can’t…”
He opens his check book, then closes it again. This is what he does. Slowly but surely dangling the carrot.
I swallow hard.
The pounding of blood in my ears only fuels the fire.
He’s caught me in his trap, and he knows it. He fucking knows it.
“Then I can’t help you, Luna. I’m sorry.”
He’s not sorry. Not one little bit. He’s reveling in my shame at having to come here and beg.
“Why do you want me to come work for you so much?” I demand. “It’s not like we’re even close.”
He looks at me sharply. “You need a career, and I know I can give you that. You can finally do something worthwhile with your life instead of bouncing from job to job. You have to work smarter, not harder, Luna. I’ve been telling you this since you were a child. And we’re not close because you shut me out. I’ve tried reaching out, but you’ve never wanted to know.”
He’s a liar. He’s never reached out. Even when he did what he did to my mom, she never stopped me from seeing him. She’d never do that. Hechoseto shut me out of his life. I didn’t fit his new narrative.
“You cheated on my mom,” I say, tears marring my tone. “You hurt her, Dad. So badly. You’ve no idea what that did to her, what it did to both of us.”
He holds up a hand, which is what he always does when he wants to shut me up and not hear any of it. He takes no responsibility in what he’s done or that he tore our family apart.
He’s such a selfish asshole.
“That’s enough. We’re not here to discuss that,” he sneers. “You’ve no idea what it’s like to be married. One day, pray tell, when you have a husband and children of your own, you’ll realize that nothing is as rosy as it seems on the outside. Marriage is hard work and sometimes things just don’t work out. You can’t hold my mistakes against me forever.”
I fucking hate you.
If he thinks I can’t hold this against him, he clearly doesn’t know me at all.
“Tell that to Mom’s broken heart.”
“She moved on,” he says, aggravated. “She remarried, for Christ's sake. Stop being so dramatic, I’m getting a migraine.”
Yes, and Terrance is a much better father than you’ve ever been, and he loves my mom.
Of course, none of these words form on my lips.
I try not to look at him with utter contempt as I rise from the chair to leave.
I can’t go to my mom for money; she doesn’t have that kind of cash just lying around. And Terrance will want to know what it’s for. To think that I’ve come here to beg him…it makes me sick.
He can stick his fucking money.
“Luna?” he says, when my hand finds the doorknob.
I turn.
He opens his check book and scribbles out a check as I stand there watching him.
“Cash it or don’t cash it, the choice is yours. But that’s the deal.” He rips the check from his leather book and then holds it out to me. “One day, I’ll come calling.”
Move your feet. Get out of here. Don’t take the money!I know my inner voice is right. That if I do this now, I’m forever in his debt. He’ll have me where he wants me. But the alternative? The alternative is too horrible…
Tears form in my eyes. But I do need it. And not for the selfish reasons he thinks, like going shopping. If there was any other way…
