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Then lost it all in one play.
Regret and remorse flood through me, like always.
I’ve done well, I don’t deny that, but the fuckin’ thing is, I don’t give a shit about money.
It’s the memory that I can’t shake.
The disappointment of my dad.
How much we both wanted it.
How little I achieved in 5 years. One Super Bowl wasn’t enough. I wanted more, so much more.
I had a fuckin’ 5-year plan, and then I had to go and change those plans.
I nod to Zeke on the door. We’re buddies and he’s at the gym sometimes.
The club is thinking of acquiring Solo, since it’s along the strip of clubs where The Vault is. So I came on the pretense of checking it out.
It fuckin’ pains me in the chest to have to even be here.
I should’ve brought Hawk along with me since he’s the one used to dragging his ol’ lady out of places.
Tonight I want to observe. I want to watch her. If another man puts his hands on her, then I’ll deal with that if and when I have to.
She has to know that, as much as I deny it, she’s all I can think about day and night. And when Harlem reminded me that she’s free to do whatever the fuck she pleases, and it wouldn’t be long before she got snagged, it hit home.
I need to wipe the visions of her from my memory, but instead, here I fuckin’ am, checking her out at a ladies only club like some stalker. Like I give a fuck.
She isn’t mine and she never will be.
What we had is gone, so why do I have to keep fuckin’ reminding myself of that?
Maybe Luna was right all those years ago about my thick skull.
I don’t want to be tied down, least of all to Luna. I’ve told myself for years that having an ol’ lady is just a drag and nothing good can come of it. Hell, I’ve been the club’s biggest advocate for staying single and fuckin’ anything that moved. But all of that gets old.
There are chicks everywhere, and since I’d left my cut off and wore a plain vest instead, I was kinda incognito.Kinda.It’s not like chicks didn’t notice me; I’m big and hard to miss.
I’d purposely dressed in black, including the damn pants, so I’d blend in like one of the security. Zeke told me to look around, see how business was so I could report back to Prez.
If only my fuckin’ Prez knew what I was up to.
A moment later, I hear, “So, didn’t think you’d be at a place like this,” Manny says, leaning on the bar next to me.
I turn to look at him. “Of course you’d be here,” I mutter.
He laughed. “Why wouldn’t I be? Someone has to keep the girls under control. May as well be me.”
That was true, but I still didn’t know if Manny was quite the person to do it. Not like he was a brother who would knock someone the fuck out, then again, he is quite solidly built.
“Here on business,” I say.
“Uh huh.”
“Don’t give me that fuckin’ attitude, it’s true.”
“Like Luna being here tonight has nothing to do with it?”
