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“You don’t need to explain anything to me, sweetheart. I don’t mind. I would think something was wrong if you didn’t have limits we needed to explore. What you need to realize isthat I’m here because there’s nowhere else that I would choose to be. You’re all I want. I’m not going to get mad at you because we need to go slow. I’m not going to change my mind or even disappear. I’m here with you and I will always be here.”
I sit down on the bed beside her, rolling to my side so that I’m facing her, and propping my head up on my arm. I know she’s going over my words, weighing them and thinking about her response. That’s who she is. She’s not spontaneous at all. Life has taught her she can’t be, and I accept it. Hell, I even respect it. However, I can’t not touch her while she’s processing things. I put a hand on her stomach, letting my fingers splay out against her soft body. One day my child will rest here. I’m more sure of that than the next breath I take. I won’t allow any other future.
For me, women have always come easily. It’s not because of me the person, though. There’s a reason Antonio and the others call me “pretty boy”. It’s not an exaggeration. I know the reflection in the mirror is pleasing to the eye. Women do flirt and throw themselves at me. That sounds cocky as hell, but it’s the truth. They see the way I look, they take in my designer suits, and that’s all it takes. Money and looks get you almost anything you could imagine. The problem with that is that it is never real. I’d learned that early on. There are days I hate the way I look. That sounds crazy, I know it does, but it’s true, nonetheless. My looks have caused me trouble with Niko, Antonio, and several others. I usually laugh off their jealousy when I’m around their wives. They’re assholes at times, but they know I’d never go there. Hell, their women wouldn’t either. Yet, I get the feeling the way I look gives Angelina an excuse not to give into me. Because of her scars, she feels that she’s less. Most of that has to do with the way her mother treated her. She bases too much value on how someone looks because her mother has beat it into her. That’s getting frustrating as hell. I know her self-confidence has never been much because of that woman. Since Gia’s attackand the scars that the bastard gave her, she has no clue to her value. She can’t see what everyone around her sees. She’s lost in her pain. In her eyes, she’s worthless.
I’m not stupid. It’s going to be a hard climb to get my woman to see what I see when I look at her. I may never achieve it completely, but I’m sure going to try like hell. All I need from her is to get her to let her defenses down—at least a little. I need her to let me in. Yesterday was our first step in the right direction. I hope that she can see I’ve been here for a year and never wavered. There’s no way I’m going to now, not when I finally have the taste of her on my lips.
“You can’t say that, Victor.” Her face shows her pain as she finally responds, and I can’t resist leaning over and kissing her forehead.
“I can. Do you doubt I’m a man of my word?”
“Of course not, don’t be silly. It’s just, we both know my head is a mess. I’m trying to work through it and have for years, but nothing has really changed. The thought of being intimate with a man terrifies me,” she confesses, her face turning blood red.
“Then we’ll tackle that first. It may take a while, but together we’ll knock down that hurdle and move to the next one, Gia.”
“I think this is more than just a hurdle, honey.”
“Fuck, that feels good,” I exhale, my lips stretching into a huge smile as satisfaction fills me.
“Huh?” she asks, clearly having no idea why I’m grinning like an idiot.
“You called me honey,” I explain. I reach up to grasp her hand, pulling it over to press it against my chest. My heart is beating under her palm, and it feels so good that it’s pretty much indescribable. “Do you feel that, Kitten? You are the reason my heart beats. You own me.”
“Victor…”
“Look in my eyes, Gia. The truth is there. It has been there from the beginning. You’ve just been blind to it. I need you to see it now.”
“I don’t know what…”
I squeeze her hand on my chest. “Look, sweetheart,” I urge, willing her to look into my eyes and see everything I feel for her.
She moistens her lips and I beat down the urge to capture the tip of her tongue that is rubbing against her lips. “I don’t want to lose you,” she finally admits.
“That’s never going to happen. If anything, you may get tired of the way I want to keep you within touching distance every single minute of every single hour of the day.”
“I could be completely broken to the point that this won’t work, Victor.”
“You’re not,” I argue. “We will get there together.”
“Why do you even want to bother?” she whimpers, and I can see the unshed tears shining in her eyes.
“What kind of question is that? I want to spend my life with you, Gia. No, it goes beyond want. It’sneed. You are all I want. I’ve not made a secret of that to anyone.”
“Except me,” she mumbles, closing her eyes.
“Not even to you, baby. It’s just you saw it all as coming from a friend, not your future husband.”
That makes her eyes open and when she looks at me, I’m smiling.
“You might be insane.”
“If I am, I don’t give a fuck. All I want is you.”
“Boy, are you in for a big disappointment.”
I sigh and let go of her hand. It does make me feel a little better when she doesn’t take her hand off my heart. Still, there’s something I need to address and it’s clear that I can’t wait any longer. “You and I need to have a serious talk,” I warn.
“Isn’t that what we’re doing?”
