AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I…”
“We need to try, Gia. You know you’re safe with me. If it gets to be too much, all you have to do is tell me to quit.”
“Does it have to be tonight?” she asks, sounding panicked.
“It doesn’t have to be, but I think it should. Tomorrow is my last day here. I leave early the following day. I think if I can prove to you that you’ll feel safe with me when we’re physical, some of your doubts will recede.”
“And if it makes things worse?”
“Then, we’ll continue every day like we did last night until I win you over.”
“I don’t think you understand, Victor. You don’t have to win me over. I already lo—carefor you. It’s my mind and my body that makes this impossible.”
“Trust me, Gia. I’ll win your mind and body over, too.”
“What if this doesn’t work?”
“What if it does?” I grin at her as she just shakes her head. “Go take a shower and get ready for bed. I need to call Zane and Lodi and make sure things are in motion for when we head out. We’ll talk more about it later, okay?” I wonder if she picks up on the fact that I’ve made sure Zane is going with me. The thought of leaving him alone with her was just too much for me.
“Okay,” she agrees. I lean down and kiss her lips softly. She’s worked herself up too much. I can tell her entire body is filled with tension. I’m hoping a shower will help her unwind. If not, then hopefully what I have planned will help with that. I jump off the bed and leave the room whistling. She might be scared I won’t break through, but I don’t have the same doubts.
Whether it’s tonight or a year from now, Gia will be mine completely.
angelina
. . .
The shower did make me feel better. I’m still keyed up, but I try to ignore it. I’m being silly. I love Victor, even if I am scared to tell him that. He wouldn’t hurt me and he’s right. I have to try. If I can be normal with anyone, it would be with him. I should have more faith, but honestly, it’s not like I’ve been very lucky over the years. Victor is the one lone bright spot in all of it.
I don’t have to ask. I know he’s planning on us sharing a bed tonight. I realize that we’ve been doing that almost every night that he’s been here and have for a long time. It never truly registered until just now. It just felt…natural.Victor will be happy with just sleeping beside me. I want to kiss him. I want to be closer to him. I just don’t know if I’m strong enough to block out my memories. I haven’t in over six years.
I start to worry about what I should wear to bed. I don’t have anything sexy and I’m pretty sure if I wore something like that I would go into a panic. I settle on a T-shirt that Victor gave me a long time ago. It falls mid-thigh and is big enough that you couldn’t call it sexy at all. It has the band name Wallflowers written on it. I smile because Victor took me to watch their lead singer a couple of months after we met. That’s when he bought us matching shirts. Unfortunately, I left mine in the hotel roomwhen we left the following morning. Victor gave me his as a replacement. The memory makes me smile. That’s just one of the reasons this shirt makes me happy.
I take a breath and as I look at myself in the bathroom mirror, I panic. It’s probably lame, but I feel naked, so I decide to put on my pajama shorts and a thin sports bra.
After I finish, I walk into the bedroom to find that Victor isn’t here. I take a breath, thankful to be honest. I know that’s not good news. I’m terrified that I will never be able to unwind with him. I also know that if I can’t be with Victor, I won’t be with anyone.
I stare at the bed. If I get in, is that being weird? Should I wait in a chair?What the hell would I be waiting for?Jesus, what is wrong with me? I finally grab the remote and get in on my side of the bed. I flip the television on and turn to the channel that plays those true-life crime shows twenty-four hours a day. I’m addicted to them, and I can’t even tell you why. I curl on my side and soon get engrossed in a story about a missing pregnant wife. I could tell right away it was the husband. It seems to always be the husband. My heart broke for the dark-haired woman on the screen with a joyful, kind face. It hurt so much that tears gathered in my eyes.
“Now, this was not the mood that I had hoped for when I came in,” Victor murmurs, and I force my gaze over to look at him. He’s standing in the doorway with gray sweats and no shirt. His smooth chest is highlighted by the hall light behind him. He’s broad and tall so he blocks the entire door frame with his body.Beautiful.He’s magnificent and takes my breath away. Then again, he does that every single time I look at him.
“Her husband killed her and their baby she was carrying so he could have her life insurance. Then the bastard escaped out of the country with his mistress. Who would do such a horrible thing?” I ask. I’m not really asking him. The man was evil.There’s no explanation for it other than that. Victor knows that, but he reaches down and takes the remote from my hands and turns the television off. He puts it on his nightstand and then slides into bed with me.
“Why do you watch this horrible stuff?” he grumbles. I’d like to explain it to him, but I don’t think I can—even I ask myself that sometimes. He gathers me up in his arms and I curl into him, letting the heat of his body warm me. “Tell me they at least caught the guy,” he mutters, kissing the top of my head.
“He’s in jail but he will have a chance at parole. It doesn’t seem fair,” I confess with a sigh.
“Where is he?”
“Texas, I think.”
“What can I do to get him out of your mind?”
“He’s not in my mind specifically,” I defend. “It’s more like the whole of the world being evil and unfair.”
“There’s good in the world, too, Kitten.”
“Like what?” I huff, because I really want him to tell me something that will stop me from feeling so defeated.
