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“Y-You can’t say that.”
“I most certainly can, and I do. You’re all I want.”
“I want you t-too. I pr-promise. It’s just that the thought of you seeing my…my…” She stops talking, shaking her head. “Ihave s-sc-scars. The thought of you seeing them terrifies me,” she says, finally getting control of her crying for the most part.
Her confession breaks my heart. I don’t even know how to respond. “Your scars don’t matter to me, Gia,” I stress as I kiss her salty, tear-stained cheek.
“You can’t say that, you haven’t seen them. They’re a reminder. They’ll always be a reminder that I’m damaged.”
“Gia, look at me. Look me in the face, into my eyes and really see me. Do I look like I find you damaged in any way, shape, or form?”
“Victor, we don’t?—”
I reach out and take her hand, pulling it down to my crotch. It’s easy to see how hard I am for her. I press her hand against my cock. She goes stiff almost at once and there’s a gasp that leaves her lips. Her tears have mostly stopped now. I find myself extending down to kiss her face in gentle pecks, doing my best to erase all signs of her tears. I don’t like them. Angelina has had enough sadness. I don’t want them to get anything more from her.
Eventually, she relaxes. Her fingers lightly curl around the outline of my dick, and I move my kisses to her lips and take her mouth with a groan of hunger that’s hard to explain. Gia isn’t stroking me and honestly, she’s holding my cock very gently. Yet, this feels like a win, and I take it as such.
“You’re perfect. Your scars are just reminders that you went through hell and somehow made it through to the other side. They don’t detract from who you are as a person, your worth, or what you are to me. I don’t know if you can trust that, but I need you to trust me. I’m not going to hurt you, Kitten. I never want to hurt you. I want to be your…” I struggle for the right word. Lover? That is a given but doesn’t quite say what I feel. Husband? Again, that doesn’t exactly say what I want either.Everything?That’s completely truthful. It almost might scarethe hell out of my woman. Right now—when it comes to me—it’s clear that she’s scared of her shadow. I need to make her feel safe and secure. That’s a tall order, but I know the first step is to go gently. I may be rushing some things, but I need to be careful about how I handle her and navigate through this. “I want to be your protector,” I finally settle on. I almost wince. Fuck, maybe Emilia is right, and I do need my head examined.
“My protector?” she says, sounding confused as hell. Who can blame her? I really need to just stop speaking and kiss Gia constantly. I screw things up a lot less when all I do is touch and kiss her.
“I want to take your burdens and make them my own. I want to slay your demons and protect you from anyone who would ever think to bring you harm. I want to be the one not only in your heart, but the first person you think to call when you need something,wantsomething, or even just needing to vent and tell me about whatever shitty thing ruined your day, or maybe whatevergreatthing makes you feel like celebrating. I want it all, sweetheart—every single damn thing.”
“You can still say all that, even after the melt down I had just because my maybe boyfriend wanted to see my breasts?” Gia takes a shuddering breath while looking at me like I really am nuts. What she doesn’t do, I notice, is take her hand away from my dick. If anything, her hand has gotten tighter.
“I have an idea,” I begin, worried that I might freak her out. Still, I need to see if she’s willing to work with me. If she’s not, well, I’ll try again tomorrow.
“An idea?” she asks. I can tell she’s not sure what’s coming next, but to her credit she doesn’t panic or run away.
“What if I touch your breasts under your shirt? Would you allow me to do that?”
I think I hear a whimper come from her lips, but she bites down on them, trapping the muffled sound. I can feel her bodytense and a slight shiver running through her. She’s scared, probably even on the verge of saying no. I prepare myself. I knew the suggestion was a gamble. For me, it was worth a shot. I need her to see that I’m not giving up. I will keep pressing and pressing until, eventually, I win her over.
That’s my game plan. It’s the only one I have.
“What if I freeze up or panic again?” she probes.
“Then, we go back to the beginning and try again when you’re ready. I told you, no matter what, sweetheart, I’m here.”
“You won’t get upset with me?
“Not on your life.”
“I’m nervous,” she volunteers. I want to smile, because that’s kind of an understatement, but I don’t. I just nod. “I hate that I’m like this, Victor. I hate that I can’t be just a woman who wants her man’s touch. I hate that being vulnerable makes me feel as if I can’t breathe.”
In response this time, I lean over and kiss her exposed neck. She lets out a soft breath. She likes this…a lot.Deciding to press my luck, I slip my tongue out to lick against the column of her neck, taking her sweet scent and taste into me.Perfection.She doesn’t stop me. If anything, she wants more. Encouraged, I add my teeth, nibbling along her neck, scraping against the exposed skin. Trying to show her how much I need her.
My hand moves of its own accord, going back to her stomach. I let my fingers dance over her, keeping my mouth focused on her neck. I want her lost in passion. I need her to be that way if I’m going to break through her fear. I slide my lips back to hers, taking over her mouth again, kissing her deeply. Gia surprises me, her tongue becoming every bit as forceful as mine. At times, she tries to dominate and take over the kiss. I don’t allow it, but I sure as fuck encourage her. When my hand palms her breast she pulls back to look at me. Our gazes lock as I squeeze the roundedmound, making sure she’s okay if I continue. She seems to sense my unspoken question because she nods her head slightly.
She wants more.
I take a breath of relief and return to kissing her, silently giving her my thanks. I’m hoping my woman can feel how proud I am of her. I know giving into me can’t be easy for her. I know she couldn’t give this freedom to any other man. The weight of that and the knowledge sinks inside of me with a rightness I can’t explain.
Even through the fabric of her bra, I can feel her nipples press against my palm. They both are hard, hungry buttons that my mouth waters to suck on. That will come, but for now, I satisfy myself by pressing on them, rubbing across them with my thumb, trapping them between my fingers and pressing harder.
Gia’s moans become hungrier. She’s louder, her body trembling beneath me. Her hips begin rocking, letting me know that she’s loving everything I’m doing and still wants more. I feel as if I’ve won a war.
She tears her mouth away from me, gasping for breath. “Victor,” she cries, her voice hoarse with hunger.
