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It's all very confusing.
He surprises me further by capturing some of my hair and pulling it back behind my ear. His hand grazes over my scar, but his face doesn’t even change. That’s something else that is different with Victor. It’s like he doesn’t even see my scar when he looks at me. I don’t get the looks of pity or revulsion that I do from so many. He almost makes me forget it’s even there.
“If you think I’m letting anyone get close to you that I haven’t vetted, you’re wrong, Kitten. It’s my job to protect you.”
His words begin to make me feel warm all over. That is, until that one-word registers in my brain.Job.
“Yeah,” I mumble, pulling away. I unbuckle my seatbelt and get out of the car before Victor has a chance to move. In fact, I’m on my doorstep, searching for my keys, by the time he makes it to me.
“Hey,” he murmurs, putting his hand on my hip and using his hold to pull me around to face him. “What’s going on, Gia?”
My heart squeezes when he uses the name he made for me—a name no one used before him. I love it. It makes me feel beautiful. I get Ang, Angie, Angel, all the time, but until Victor, no one has called me Gia. I don’t think I’ve ever heard it before, period. I don’t know why he calls me that, but it makes me feel like someone else.Someone less broken.“Nothing,” I respond quietly, avoiding his eyes. I turn back to the door and finally figure out the right key to unlock the dang door.
“Why don’t I believe you?” Victor asks the question while closing the door and leaning against it.
After sparing him a glance, I turn away, kick off my shoes, and walk toward the kitchen. “Do you still want chicken alfredo?”
“Whatever you want to fix, sweetheart. If you don’t feel like cooking, we can order takeout.”
“That’s a waste of money. It doesn’t take me long to fix food.”
“I don’t think a to go order of Chinese or a pizza will break me.”
“Fine, order a pizza. I’m going to take a shower,” I grumble, still unable to look at him.
I move to exit the room, giving him a wide berth while simultaneously trying to ignore how good he smells. I almost make my escape—knowing the time to collect myself is definitely needed. I’m near the hall that leads to my bathroom when Victor catches me and wraps his hand around my wrist.
“Talk to me, Kitten. Why are you upset with me?”
“I’m not.”
“You’re lying. Don’t lie to me.”
I force myself to look into his eyes. It’s not easy, because they are deep, dark pools of liquid that make me thirsty for more of him. I try to keep my cool around Victor because I know I’m not in his league—I’veneverbeen in his league. What’s worse, I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I am a responsibility to him. I don’t know why he thinks he needs to be responsible for me. Maybe it is because of Emmie, I don’t know. What I do know is that right now, I’m on the verge of a panic attack and I need to get into a room by myself. What’s worse is, I don’t even have a reason for being like this. Iknowdown to my soul that Victor would die before he’d hurt me. It’s just that he is hurting me by just being his amazing self—a man I can never have.
I moisten my lips and find the courage to speak. “I’m not mad at you, Victor. I’m just tired from work and over emotional.”
All of that was truthful. I’m not mad—could never be mad—at Victor. It’s just I think I could be in love with him and that can’t happen. I can’t allow myself to feel that way because it will destroy me when he finds someone he wants in his life. I knowthat will happen. A man like Victor is not meant to be alone. Some lucky woman will win his heart and when she does, I’ll be forced to watch her live out every fantasy I ever had.
“You have me worried, Kitten.”
My eyes close. God, why does he have to be so sweet?
“I don’t mean to,” I whisper. “I think I’m just really tired. You should go home tonight. You’ve been practically staying with me as it is. The break will do us both good, and I’m sure you have stuff at home that needs your attention.”
He studies me and I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I can almost feel his brain working as he tries to figure out what’s wrong with me. I can tell he’s unhappy. That’s the thing about Victor, he never hides his emotions from me.
Sometimes I wish he would.
“Go shower, sweetheart. I’ll order us some food and we’ll watch your Superman movie. If you still want me to leave, I’ll go after that.”
I close my eyes. I never really want him to leave. I can’t tell him that. So instead, I nod my acceptance and continue on to the bathroom. I do it all while pretending that my heart isn’t breaking.
What is wrong with me?
He’s done nothing wrong. Maybe, Deanna is right. I do need to date. If I do that, maybe I’ll get over this fascination I have for Victor. The last thing I want to do is ruin our friendship. I close the bathroom door when I get there and breathe easier. I don’t really want to date, but Deanna is right. I need to start pushing myself—before I ruin the best relationship I’ve ever had in my life.
victorio
