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“Xavier what is it you want?” I asked exhausted.
“You! Isabella, I want you! How can you not see that. Every breath, every heartbeat is all for you! I do everything to get your attention, to get you to look at me with the same admiration but I just … what do I have to do?” he asks desperation laced his question as he looked at me with pleading eyes. I flicked the hair out of my eyes and leaned forward.
“Die” I spat coldly.
My choice of words clearly didn’t amuse Xavier, he slapped me across my face and started punching me he wouldn’t stop until one of his men pulled him off me, I looked up at him feeling my insides bruised and broken as his men held him back.
“Screw you” I hissed.
He looked at me with wide eyes realizing what he did, and just how unphased I was.
“Why do you push me to do these terrible things? Why can’t you just love me?” He yelled frustrated, I narrowed my eyes and kept quiet not in the physical or mental mindset to be able to fight back. He huffed and stepped closer towards me getting out of his man’s grasp.
“I love you. Mark my words Isabella … one day you will love me too.” Not breathing a word, he sighs and walks off clearly feeling defeated, I rolled my eyes and slumped back into the chair. I drift off into space thinking about my son, I sigh deeply thinking about all the time I’m going to miss with him.
His first steps, his first words, him growing up, him going to school, graduating, I won’t even be there to help him with his first heartache … or see him with his true love. I’m going to miss it all and it’s killing me slowly.
My baby boy will grow up not knowing or having his mum by his side and that’s all I ever wanted to do be by his side watch him grow up and just beam with pride and joy that my baby boy is growing up to be a respectful man a future mafia leader but still a man a deadly one in fact. I couldn’t help but imagine who he would grow up to be, he has the perfect bits from both me and Vincenzo. I pray he gets the good in both of us and not the parts we wish weren’t there, I pray for my son that he goes through his life happiness and grace no torture no pain and no trauma. He doesn’t deserve what happened to me and his dad to ever happen to him in fact no one deserves it.
He deserves to grow up happy and with nothing left in his eye, knowing Vincenzo he wouldn’t let our son go without getting him everything he wanted anyway, thankfully Ariana will be around to balance Vincenzo out, so my son doesn’t grow up to be a spoilt pompous ass. My mind fixated on my son picturing how he’ll turn out when he gets older, I may not be physically with him, but I will be there watching over him, myself, Maria, and Dante a supernatural forcefield.
I sighed closing my eyes as though talking to Vincenzo right now, I know you are spiraling and have no clue what to do you’re caught between two halves of your heart but know whatever decision you make it will be the right one.
Lorenzo is your brother, you watched him grow up and practically raised him I don’t expect you to ever pick me or anyone over him. Please don’t spiral and don’t torment yourself. I love you now and forever it’s funny because I fell in love with him from first interaction, but I never knew my only regret is I wish I knew earlier, and my god do I wish I told you sooner.
I felt a tear drop roll down my cheek taking in a deep breath I continue feeling like this is the only way I can feel closure he may not really be here or in front of me but if we are as connected as I think he should know what I’m thinking and feeling, even without knowing. I don’t know if I was just losing my mind or if what I thought made any sense, nonetheless I love him so much and I need him to be strong, strong for himself, our family and most importantly strong for our son. You and me forever Italy.
x
I jolted awake hearing the door slam shut, I looked at Xavier who was standing way to close to me, I huffed annoyed he woke me up, “are you freaking stupid? Or do you just have a death wish?” I hissed, he rolled his eyes and smirked amused.
“I kidnap you and the first time you threaten death on me is when I wake you up?” He laughed finding the situation all too amusing. “Oh, because this is the first time you’ve kidnapped me. Honestly, it’s becoming a bad joke at this point” I shrugged still annoyed he woke me up.
“You need to watch your attitude love” he warned smiling, I rolled my eyes.
“What are you gonna do? Kidnap me?” I mocked.
He pulls out a machete from I don’t even fucking know where, “seriously Isabella I have a few new toys I was hoping you could try out when you start work, but I don’t mind testing it out on you” I laughed hysterically which did not amuse him one bit.
I tried catching my breath my abs starting to hurt the harder I laughed.
“Yeah sure, maybe learn how to hold it before you cut yourself” I laughed and laughed until it felt like I was about to pass out, I finally settled down looking up at Xavier who was still holding the machete in an awkward position not knowing who knew getting kidnapped could be so much fun?
“You don’t know what to do or how to handle something so big and long” I smiled innocently up at him knowing full well even if he attempted to do anything with it, it would immediately backfire and result in him hurting himself.
“You’re on very thin ice Isabella” he warned.
“I don’t mind going for a swim” I smiled.
“Isabella, you are playing a dangerous game.”
“That’s because I’m the only one who knows how to play it just right.” I winked feeling my confidence at a new height.
He dropped the machete and pulled out his gun and pointed it at my thigh, proving me right.
“See small and stubby that’s your strong suit” I nodded my head approvingly.
“I’m serious” he takes the safety off. I shrugged my shoulders.
