Page 5 of His to Please

“You’re not leaving yet. Don’t even try it.” Birdie points her finger at me, attempting to use the mom voice on me. I can’t help it. Laughter erupts out of me, deep and throaty. There’s noholding back. I love her, but there isn’t a mean bone in her body. I bend at the waist, hand covering my mouth, and still, I can’t calm down my laughter. Rocky yips, thinking it’s time to play when in all reality, he can’t read the room.

“I think I might get a dog,” I change the subject after I get myself under control. Birdie didn’t find me comical, so now it’s time to switch tactics.

“What? You think I can’t be mean?” she asks. Her face falls from being stern to a smile. “What kind of dog, and who’s going to watch over them when you’re off being Herbert’s pack mule?”

“Great question. I mean, he or she could probably come with me on the clinic days, but the ones where I’m visiting farms and night calls, I may need help. Want to be an auntie to my future dog and puppysit?” I lay it on thick. Is it necessary? Nope. Birdie would do anything for me, and I’d do anything for Birdie.

“Between Mom and Catherine, will I even get to so much as visit with your future dog?”

“True that. Anyways, I’m going to keep my eyes out for a puppy. We’ll see what happens. Tell me about your work.” I kick my feet up on the coffee table. The shower I’d like to have will only bring me back to a too quiet and too lonely house. I’d much rather sit here and talk to my best friend until I wear out my welcome.

6

DEAN

No wonder Rywaited to do this last. Fucking monotonous, back-breaking, leave-you-with-your-own-thoughts work. And it blows donkey dick. Even on a step stool with my ass planted where you’d stand, and still my body protests.

“The cavalry is here.” Trey walks in, a case of beer in one hand and a couple of boxes of pizzas in the other. I watch as Lawson, JW, Ryland, and Lane follow him in, each bringing something to the mix, chips, cookies, and other drinks. I guess the lot of them went into town before heading over to Ry’s, probably to watch me work my ass off. Which can only mean Ryland folded. I stand up, ready to put this shit to bed.

“Yeah, we heard you were at the house when Ryland was leaving the hardware store,” Lawson says. It’s then I see my younger brother broughtmore bags of caulk. He’s lucky, or I’d be kicking his ass from his house to our parents’. Especially after last night with Tully, nothing is going to get in my way of having her with me.Forever.

“Food first, then we’ll knock out the rest of the work,” Lawson states as they put everything on the counter. I got the living room, dining room, and kitchen caulked. As for the rest, I guess I’m getting help I wasn’t expecting.

“Sounds good to me.” It’s a free for all for food. No need for plates. We’ve got hands. The only thing we’ll need is paper towels, and since there’s a full pack on the counter from Ryland cleaning and me using it to wipe the excess goo off my fingers, we’re good to go.

“Pepperoni or meat lovers?” Trey asks, opening up the cardboard boxes. The rest of us go through everything we want—bags of chips, packages of cookies, and as always when greasy food is involved, beer. We all prefer the same:Snake River Pale Ale.

“Pepperoni,” Lawson replies. “Heartburn is a bitch.”

“That’s because you’re an ol’ man. Before too long, you’ll need a walker and a bed pan.” Trey gives our oldest brother shit. Not like he has much room to talk; he’s only a couple of years younger than Lawson.

“Fuck off,” Law says around a mouthful of pizza.

“Hand me a beer, will ya?” I askJW, who’s grabbing one out of the ripped box for himself. Out of all of us, he’s the quietest, probably because he can’t get a word in edgewise.

“Shit, nobody better tell Birdie I’m eating again. She cooked dinner tonight for her and Tully. I love my woman, but I need more carbs and less salad,” Lane pretends to bitch, but if Birdie decided to go full-blown vegan, he’d eat every last meal then go to Mom’s or one of our places, have another meal, and go back to Birdie, who would be none the wiser.

I keep my mouth closed, already knowing what happens when Tallulah and Birdie get together. They snack, drink, and gossip.

“That bad?” Ry asks.

“Not too bad. Usually, the wine comes out. Tonight, it didn’t because Tully is on call, so it was more of crackers, cheese, some meats, and whatever else Birdie could put on a platter. Neither of them wanted a big meal.” Lane shrugs his shoulders before grabbing some chips from the opened bag and starts in on his own pizza. I’m going to have to do something about Tully not eating enough. I’ll be damned if she works her ass to the bone and is only surviving off cheese and crackers.

“Good thing you’re here, then. Since you’re all here, eat your fill and let’s get this shit done. Your parents are giving me the fuckin’ ick.” Our group sighs collectively. Ryland is the last manstanding inside our childhood home, and he’s more than ready to move out.

“Our parents? Pretty sure they’re yours, too,” I grunt after downing half my beer, needing the alcohol to combat the back pain I’ll be in all night. Leaving at the ass crack of dawn from Tully’s place didn’t help matters either. The sun wasn’t up, it was still dark, and I had to hoof it nearly a mile and a half back to my place. Never mind the fact that peeling myself away from her had me annoyed as fuck. Tallulah burrowed back into bed when I got out, her small hands grasping for me and only meeting air. I watched as she settled back down, grumbling about something or other. Then it was time for me to get my clothes on and head out. One day soon, this hiding charade will be over. I only hope it’s sooner rather than later.

“Nope, I’m convinced I was adopted. No way I’d walk around singing “I wanna, li-li-li-lick you from your head to your toes.” A collective groan echoes throughout the entire house from all of us. The bite of pizza I just took sits heavy in my gut, and I plop the slice back inside the cardboard box.

“And now that we’re done with this conversation, I’m going back to work.” I take my half-finished beer plus another one and walk back to my makeshift station. The faster we get this project done, the faster Ryland is out of the main house, and the less we’ll have to hear about ourparents’ shenanigans. We’ve tried telling them time and time again. As much as we love that they love each other, there are certain things no children should see. Those being your parents half-naked and talking about being half-naked.

“Not a bad idea. Maybe our appetite will return later,” Lawson states. JW is the only one still eating, shaking his head, but he’s staying where he is. Lane is as well, which leaves Ryland, Law, Trey, and me to get this show on the road.

“Anything else you got going on that needs to be done besides caulking?” Trey asks.

“Yeah, the backsplash in the kitchen. I wasn’t going to ask anyone to do that, though. It’s gonna be a bitch,” Ry says. I’m not touching that with a ten-foot pole. There’s a lot of shit I’ve got patience for; anything having to do with tile isn’t one of them. I’ll deal with the back-breaking side of this project, and maybe I’ll get a massage from my woman the next night she’s home. Fuck yeah, I’ll be sure to return the favor so long as Tallulah is naked.

7

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