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Jude’s lids blinked open a heartbeat later, his stare unflinching as his gaze dove into mine and soothed a piece of my soul I’d only recently discovered. He didn’t look at me like most people did—not with loathing or indifference, or even doubt.
Jude stared at me like he saw the fighter hidden beneath my skin. The powerful woman I could become. And in the reflection of his eyes, I saw the truest version of myself. Maybe that’s why I couldn’t look into them for too long.
The stagnant air was sucked from the room, an overwhelming feeling of floating and drowning threatening to weaken my knees. It was a moment captured in a bubble—one that would inevitably burst.
Jude pulled away first, rising to his full height.
Not sure what to say, I shifted nervously on my feet, peering at him from beneath my lashes. What the hells had just happened?
He took a step back, his jaw growing tense once more, the serenity he’d experienced at my touch dispersing into the shadows that pressed at our backs.
“We leave in the morning.”
I watched his Adam’s apple bob.
“I’ve selected four recruits to accompany me and two other Knights. The remaining two groups will depart the day after.”
I felt myself nod, the words not yet sinking in.
“You’re supposed to be on my list.”
“I see.” The mood was so heavy that I didn’t even make a quip about being the best recruit in the bunch. Which was true, but now didn’t seem the time to rub that fact in.
Jude’s unkempt hair tumbled into his face. He was a mess, and not just physically.
“Are you going to tell me what to expect?” I asked hesitantly.
“We will make camp right before the Mist. There, I will explain everything. It’s not safe to do so here.” He scanned the empty corridor warily. Perhaps the Knights’ sanctum wasn’t as secure as I’d been led to believe.
“I see,” I repeated, though I didn’t understand at all. Not the mission, and certainly not whatever was growing between me and my superior.
Jude lifted his hand as if to touch my cheek, but likely thought better of it, lowering it to his side and balling it into a tight fist. He gave me one final lingering look before abandoning me in the hall.
Tomorrow was the beginning of the end.
Chapter Eighteen
Jude
She is what we’ve suspected. A little nudging on my part, and the commander will select her all on his own.
No one will be the wiser.
Letter from unknown sender to King Cirian,
year 50 of the curse
The recruits were all lined up before Harlow, Carter, and Isiah before I stepped into the rotunda.
Today was the day lives would be changed forever. Today, I would deliver a sentence worse than death.
My stomach was lead as I marched into the center and took my place alongside my men.
Harlow nodded, but Isiah met my eyes and held them, a knowing look passing between us. He silently conveyed everything swirling in my head.
That these boys weren’t ready to die.
That fate was cruel and we had no other choice but to follow orders.
