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It was difficult to recount all the details since it had been almost a century, but he knew the most important bits.
“We cared for each other, but our involvement was short-lived. Her father had continued the legacy of architects in the family and needed to go away for a project to another peninsula. She had to leave with him, and I found a woman who I believed was my mate, Niette.”
“It’s rare to find your fated mate if you’re not a magic user.” She added sweetly.
“It is,” he nodded, “and it was hard for anyone to believe it. She was also Human. My Council advised against it giventhat the throne had to remain within the Elven people. They wouldn’t budge even though she offered to become one of us, and they went as far as to suggest undoing the royal binds of only being able to conceive with a mate. But I didn’t care and decided to marry her anyway, even if she remained Human.”
A shudder ran through him, one that was almost painful. “It wasn’t well received by anyone then, especially Livian. I’m not sure what she was expecting me to do when she left, but it had been five years since I’d last seen her. Before I knew it, she’d lured Niette to her death and cursed me with immortality so that I couldn’t ever join her in the afterlife. Inflicting the curse on me took Livian’s life as well.”
“That window…” she said suddenly, and Travus knew which one. “It’s her, isn’t it?”
He nodded, and Mierna shifted uncomfortably but she reached forward to touch his arm. “I’m sorry, Travus. I can’t imagine the kind of pain you must’ve gone through.”
“It’s still there,” he said tiredly. “This…deep ache in my chest that still yearns for something. I still love Niette, but it’s been a few decades since I made peace with her passing, yet there’s just…”
“Nothing left to live for,” Mierna stated, and he nodded. “I suppose your life’s purpose started and ended with Niette. It’s unbearable to go through such a long life alone.”
“It’s not that I couldn’t have taken a wife regardless of her being my mate,” he reasoned. “I just…don’t know how to explain what losing a mate feels like.”
They sat in silence for a moment before Mierna finally spoke. “Do you think you’ll see her again if you die?”
He shrugged. “Yes, but even if not, I’d still like to get rid of my immortality.”
“Pardon me, Travus, but…” she soundedverycareful, “I fail to see how this encouraged you to invade Vihnmen and the other nations. Are you looking for someone who could undo this?”
“I can’t tell you much.”
Her hand curled over his clasped fist with a tender touch, and he couldn’t help but be in awe of how small she was. How her small hand ever managed the strength she possessed to push him off was beyond him.
“Grief is a difficult thing to deal with, Travus. I must admit that I’ve had my fair share of weak moments where I’ve attempted to reach someone I lost, but there are better ways to get what you want.”
“You’ve lost someone too?”
She nodded guardedly but didn’t seem to upset. “I lost my father many decades ago. I found myself drawn to somedark and occult practices to reach out to him, but I found better ways to cope over time.”
“How so?”
A flash of conflict passed over her face before she held up the book by her side. “I got lost in other worlds where things were nicer. It helped a bit until the pain stopped driving me insane.”
He didn’t seem entirely convinced, so she sighed and fell away back against the window frame. “I picked up the things he loved to be closer to him. Enchantment mainly. Then I taught myself combat so I could protect those I cared for.”
“Was he…killed by someone?”
She shrugged. “Regardless of how he died, I just didn’t want to be defenseless in the face of trouble, you know? It’s why I learned to fight.”
That surprisingly explains a lot, he thought to himself, eyeing her arms and how toned they were despite her overall slim frame. He reached out for her hands and, for the first time, noticed the fading calluses on them. Her palms, knuckles, and fingertips held traces of vigorous use. Though the skin of her arm looked unblemished from afar, he was able to see the very faint scars up close.
He realized he’d never reallylookedat her properly before. Past her beauty was a lot of pain that she hid under long robes and guarded eyes.
He was curious about all of it now.
“What’s the worst scar you’ve gotten?” he asked, and she seemed surprised. Taking his hand, she led his fingers to a spot behind her left ear.
“Do you feel that ridge? I got infected by a parasite on an excursion and had to slice it right out of my body before it got into my brain.”
Travus looked at her with horror, and she snorted lightly.
“What?” she teased. “Does that make you queasy?”
