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I turn off the shower and dress in a pair of leggings and an oversized sweatshirt that I bought today. Most of the women’s clothes were too nice, so I ended up buying men’s clothes that were two sizes too big. I lay in bed for hours, tossing and turning as I stare out at the moon through the window. The night is cool and clear. As much as I need the rest, sleep has yet to claim me and there’s really only one place that can cure my restlessness, the spot at the mountain that my dad and I went to. The place where I spread his ashes, the place where I feel closest to him.
I get up and step into my work boots, tiptoeing down the stairs in case Claire has spent the night before I grab the truck keys and drive to that spot. When I get there, I walk up part of the mountain and sit at the same spot my dad and I would always be at, staring at the moon as it glows back at me. I hear footsteps behind me and freeze in place, worrying that it could be a bear or a coyote.
“Why haven’t you answered my calls or texts?” Hunter’s dark voice asks behind me, calming my fear of an animal attack, but awakening that twisting feeling in my heart.
“My phone was off,” I say as he approaches me, his boots stopping beside me as I stare at them from my spot on the ground.
“Something’s wrong, Red, so tell me what it is. You’re a master at jumping to conclusions before getting your information from the source,” he says, his tone murderous, but I don’t care.
Actually, I can’t help but scoff at his statement.
“I didn’t jump, I just walked and the source followed me,” I say, still staring at the moon and avoiding him.
“God damnit, Ali. Look at me and tell me what happened!” His voice booms, nearly causing an avalanche on the mountain.
I get up, enraged as I meet his wild eyes.
“You! You’re what happened! I’m just out here trying to grieve and pick up the pieces of the life my father left for me, and you keep getting in the way!” I shout, walking away from him and back to my truck.
He had to ruin this spot. He has to ruin fucking everything.
“Don’t walk away from me. Look at me and fucking talk to me,” he orders, but I don’t yield, I just keep walking until I reach the truck.
He pushes me against it, my back to his front as he traps me, bending down to growl in my ear.
“You weren’t acting like this hours ago when I was balls deep inside you, so please, enlighten me and tell me what’s happened since then,” he growls, his hands on my hips as my pussy flutters and heart races.
“Hannah followed you Friday. She saw us together,” I whisper, and he stills, growling out a frustrated noise.
“Fuck,” he says, all but confirming my suspicions as he backs away from me and I whip around to face him with hurt, angry eyes.
“Yeah, fuck is right. She told me she just wanted to make sure you were okay, since you canceled your date with her to fuck me instead. Apparently, she wants to keep hooking up with you so I’m sorry I got in the way of that,” I hiss, my stupid heart cracking open even more as his nostrils flare and his eyes darken.
“I didn’t cancel anything because there was no date. I hooked up with Hannah once, years ago and she’s been following me around like a puppy since,” he growls, stepping towards me as I back up against the truck door.
“Yeah well, maybe you should call your puppy back home because she seems to miss you. And you seem to enjoy her company more than mine, since we always end up fighting,” I snarl, and he lets out a humorous laugh.
“We always end up fighting because your stubborn fucking brain refuses to accept the truth.”
“And what truth is that?”
“That you’re fucking mine and I’ll be damned if anyone tries to get in the way of that,” he growls, staring at me as I clutch the door handle, my head and heart at war as I stare into his angry eyes.
No matter what he says, no matter what the truth or the lie is, the real truth is that we can’t be together because our lives will never blend well. There’s too much bad history, too many secrets and betrayal and no amount of desire or want can erase that.
“Look, Hunter, I love being with you and I’ll remember all of the times we shared together, but-”
“Don’t you do that. Don’t you dare try to run and hide from me again, Ali. I told you what would happen,” he snarls, but I continue with a broken sigh.
“But no matter what we do or feel, we have to accept that we can’t be together anyway. It’s just not possible and it will only end up hurting one of us, which will most likely be me and I can’t afford any more hurt for a while,” I say softly, proud that I haven’t shed a single tear.
He tries to go to me, but I open the door and hop in the truck, locking it before he can open it. I crack the window and meet his wild eyes, biting my lip as I start the truck up.
“Just do what’s best for the both of us, Hunter, and stay away. For good,” I say, peeling away from the space that was once my sanctuary, leaving him behind in the place that is now filled with ghosts.
33
Workon the ranch has been a bitch this week.
