AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“I couldn’t do it anymore! Ican’tdo this anymore! This life that has been filled with these monsters and rapists! For years I have dealt with this and I justcan’t! Emmie, you need to get out of here! You need to run far from all of them!” She's shouting and flailing as I begin to slowly back away, my eyes on Dante, wide with horror.
“Adrian, escort Esmeralda to her room now.” Dante barks out, turning away from me and walking towards my mother as a guard steps forward and grabs my arm. I yank it away and march to my room, the guard and my mother’s screams both following me.
* * *
I’ve been pacing my bedroom floor for about an hour when I hear a knock on my door and see Sergio enter, his expression neutral.
“Your mother is stable and resting in the room next to here. You may visit her if you would like.” I begin walking towards the door when his voice stops me.
“I will advise you that she’s been given a Xanax to calm her hysteria. The mix of Devil’s breath, some alcohol she consumed and the adrenaline we gave her had caused her heart rate to spike. We’ve done what we can to calm her, so don’t be surprised if she doesn’t talk much.”
I nod and make my way past him, turning to look at him when he speaks once more.
“Dante will be out for a while on some business, I will be in charge while he is gone. We’re not the bad guys, Emmie.” I narrowed my eyes on him.
“Then who are the bad guys, Sergio?” His eyes darken at my words, and he shakes his head at me.
“Men that do a lot more than just blindfold you and make you cook for them. Men that will not think twice about killing you.”
“Who in fuck’s name would want to kill me?” My face is flushed with both anger and confusion, his answer only making it grow hotter.
“Just do what you’re told and don’t do anything stupid. Go see your mother, Emmie.”
I throw my arms up and walk away from him and towards my mom’s room. I knock twice before quietly opening the door, revealing my mother’s small and weak frame laying in her bed, her face turned away from me. I take a seat next to her bed and nudge her. She turns slowly to look at me, her eyes both lifeless and tired.
“What happened, Mom? What did you mean when you were shouting about Dante and his men?” My voice is a whisper and she doesn’t respond. She doesn’t even make a facial expression or an audible sigh, which is more than unlike her. I raise my eyebrows and wait for a response, yet I am only met with an uncomfortable silence.
“Mom, you have to say something. I can’t be kept in the dark, especially not by my own mother.” She looks at me for a few seconds and turns her head away to continue staring at the wall away from me. I sigh and fold my hands in my lap, my eyes staring at them for what felt like an eternity. It must have been at least ten minutes before she finally spoke.
“They’ll kill me if I tell you, but I’ve felt dead for years now. At least if they put a bullet in me, I’d feel peace.” She sighs and my stomach drops, but I stay silent, willing her to continue.
“I’ve never told you about your father because I don’t view him as your father. He was a monstrous man that I hadn’t met before. I only knew him for an hour.” The way she says this makes my stomach turn and my spine chill.
“What did he do to you Mom?” She looks at me, her eyes sunken and filled with sadness. I’ve never seen her like this. This woman before me is a stranger who is terrifying me more than the drug addict I’ve taken care of since childhood. She stays silent as her eyes look at her hands. She rubs her stomach absently and a lightbulb goes off in my head.
“Is the rapist you were screaming about? Did my father rape you and create me?” I want to scream and cry with anger and sadness. I knew he was an absent piece of shit, but not a monster capable of doing such horrid things.
“I worked at a club at the time. I was only nineteen and had just been kicked out of my parents’ house for almost failing my first semester of college. They cut off all my funding and tossed me out like I was nothing. I hitchhiked from southern California to Los Angeles. I met a dancer who got me a job at the club she worked at. I waited tables and stayed on her couch for a few weeks.”
She’s never given me this much detail about her past. She’s never spoken about her parents or even mentioned that she went to college. I never even knew if she graduated high school or not. I decide to rest my hand on her arm, rubbing small and gentle circles into her cold skin. She sighs in comfort and closes her eyes as she begins to talk more.
“It was a late shift that night. A group of what I thought were businessmen came in and ordered at least a thousand dollars’ worth of food and drinks. My friend was the only dancer left on the floor, but a couple of men requested a dance from me in the back room.”
Her hands start to tremble, and I pat her arm reassuringly, trying to hold my composure so she would feel comfortable enough to continue speaking.
“I’d never danced before. They hired me to wait tables, but I needed the money and I figured they’d pay well. My friend had to stay on stage so the manager gave me the okay to give private dances, saying the money would be more than worth it.” She’s crying silently and for once in my almost twenty-one years of living, I see genuine emotion in my mom and it absolutely wrecks my heart.
“It was just two guys that went back. One said he was just there to make sure I didn’t try anything funny with the man who was going to be paying for my dance. That should’ve been enough to warn me, but I needed the money so badly. I would do anything to get a place of my own. So I went back there in the private room with those two men.”
“What happened in that room, Mom?” My voice is shaky and I know I shouldn’t rush her, but if this was my night of conception and the reason for my mother’s crippling addiction, then I had the right to know. She doesn’t look at me, just continues to stare at her hands that are now fidgeting on the white comforter.
“They locked the door and ordered me to start dancing. One stood and watched while the other sat on the couch. I didn’t know what to do and felt nervous, so I was clumsy. The man I danced for was a bigger man, both in fat and muscle. I remember his face had bruises on it and he looked scary, so I knew not to cross him…” She sighs and rubs at her eyes, pinching them with her fingers as her lip trembles slightly.
“I was so clumsy, Emmie. I didn’t know what to do and that pissed him off. He started to get angry and rough with me, pulling me on his lap and covering my mouth, pulling my hair and my face down to his...to his…” She couldn’t get the words out, but she didn’t need to. I climbed into bed with her and held her head against my chest as she began to sob openly. I think we may have cuddled a few times in my life, only when I was really little, and I couldn’t remember the exact details. I held her now, absorbing her sobs and pain, her words jumbled as she forces them out.
“He-he yanked off my clothes and did it then, in that back room. It felt like an eternity and the other man watched the entire time.”
She sobs harder and I shed a few tears of my own, the drops mixing with her and wetting her light hair. The air is quiet around us and I decide to let her weep openly in my arms, absorbing her pain and letting it mingle with my own.
