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I keep ignoring him as I take off my shoes, setting them by the closet door before grabbing my tote bag and carrying it to the bed. I’m ready to go to bed and tune the world out until Sergio takes me back home in the morning.
“Answer me, god damn you!” His shout is an angry whisper, but it penetrates me enough to strike the last nerve that I have.
“I did what you asked! I played the part and mingled, and now I’m ready for bed. Nobody can touch me if I’m locked away inside a room that’s inyour house.Plus, you seem pretty preoccupied anyway with the brunette version of Jessica Rabbit down there. You won’t even notice that I’m gone.”
I pull out my night clothes from my tote and begin brushing the curls out of my hair before tying it up in a messy bun. He marches up to me and I flinch away from his reach, backing up with my clothes in hand. He doesn’t get to touch me anymore. He doesn’t get any emotions after tonight.
“She’s an assistant on my team, Esmeralda. There’s no need for you to act like a jealous, little girl. Especially after your shit performance with the congressman.”
I want to hit him, but I don’t. I shove back all my anger and hurt and focus on preparing my nightly routine so that I can go to bed. He reaches for me again and I turn away and begin taking off my dress, pulling my pajama pants and t-shirt on immediately after.
“I’ve never made any promise to you, Esmeralda. I’ve done everything I could to ensure your safety. I do not deserve to be treated with this disrespect. You’re mi-”
“I’m not yours, Dante.” I cut him off, my voice is monotone and holds zero emotion. I feel like a robot.
“I’m nothing but a hindrance to you at some times, and a fleeting moment of pleasure for you at others. I appreciate you indulging my interests for the time being, but I don’t think it’s appropriate for us to continue the way we have been anymore. I will begin to follow your orders as instructed when I return home. I won’t cause anything to get in the way of the vengeance you seek from my father. I will comply until you see your mission through.”
I make my way towards the bathroom so that I can brush my teeth, but he orders me to stop. I tilt my head back towards the ceiling, sighing in pure exhaustion. I can’t do this forever. I need to cut him off for the sake of my mental health.
“This isn’t a fucking business deal, Emmie.”
My name sounds so good on his lips, but I don’t give in. I’ve had enough after tonight. I can’t be in the same room as him anymore. I can’t even hear his voice anymore.
“But it is, Dante. It always has been. We both want the same man dead and you’ll see to it. I’ll be of assistance in any way that I can, but I cannot continue the personal part of this with you anymore.”
“You can because you’re mine, Esmeralda. You can and you will.”
I want to cry, but I let my last bit of anger rush out, the wall I built up letting it through.
“I can’t keep doing this back and forth with you. I can’t keep lying and waiting for you to spend time with me, to actually smile at me like you do with other women. I can’t keep craving to know you anymore, to want you to hold me after you fuck me. I can’t be a secret to someone I’m falling for anymore!”
The last part came out completely on its own accord and it took us both by surprise, the room now filled with heavy silence. I pinch my nose and speak for the last time of the night, my voice back to being robotic. I never want to see him after tonight. I need therapy and a heavy dose of reality, away from him.
“Like I said, I will comply with everything when it comes to my father and your protection. This will be the last time that we speak. You can add another guard to watch me and communicate everything to Sergio. I’ll be sure to always respond to him when prompted.”
I step into the bathroom and stop when I hear his voice whisper out.
“I never promised to be anything more than what I am, Emmie.”
I nod at him, a fresh wave of tears forming that I refuse to show him.
“I never asked you to. I just wanted to know what my place was in your world. Now I know completely. Goodnight, Dante.”
I close the bathroom door, willing my tears back as I brush my teeth. I walk into an empty bedroom several minutes later, locking the door before collapsing onto the bed and falling into a restless sleep.
* * *
The house is practically empty when I wake up. I left the silk dress hanging in the closet and dressed in my clothes from the day before, leaving the bedroom and then wandering into the kitchen. Javier must have the day off, or at least I'd hope that he would after last night's festivities. I spot my mother on the way out of the kitchen, giving her a quick hug and informing her to reach out to Sergio if she wants to contact me.
"Are you sure you're going to be okay here, Mom? We can always find you a cheaper place near campus and look for better job opportunities."
She smiles a sad smile at me, but there's a small flicker of hope in her green eyes.
"I'll be okay, Emmie. I'm better off here than out there. I'm going to see it through, or die trying."
I wipe a lone tear from her eye before she pulls me in for a long and tight hug. For once in my life, I might actually miss my mother. These last two weeks have been such a shock to my system in so many ways. I tell her to say goodbye to Javier for me, because I have no intention of returning to this place at all and I will miss him dearly.
I get in Sergio's blacked out car and buckle myself in. It's quiet and dark back here, but it brings me comfort in its solitude. Finally, I can think clearly without any interruption. I pull out my cell phone and power it on. A flood of text messages from Ricky come in as well as a voicemail. Before I can hit play, a phone call comes through and it's from him.
