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Mumbling, I said, “Now who’s being stupid. I didn’t listen when you told me to run from Nico, and you wouldn’t listen when I offered to help you into bed. I told you about the medication.” I helped him up from the floor and onto the bed. “Now. Can I get you something to eat without you trying to kill yourself? You could have hit your head on that bed and where would I be? Left all alone in this forest and missing you.” I couldn’t believe I said that.
“Bossy.”
“And you are a bad patient. Remind me to kick you off my roster.”
“Remind me to tell you thanks,” he said. I stared down at him, and sensed that it had been a long time since anyone had cared for him. He appeared as if he was a man who cared for others, and didn’t want to show his vulnerability to anyone, but had been forced by circumstances to do so. I leaned over and kissed his lips.
“I don’t want you to catch anything,” Dante said after he’d accepted the small easy kiss.
“I’ve already caught something, and I fear I might die because of it.”
Dante raised an eyebrow as if he didn’t know what I was talking about, and then he recognized what I meant, because those large brown expressive eyes said it all.
There was a sadness and hardness all rolled into that man, and all I wanted to see was the soft part and bypass the other. But I couldn’t. I had to face the circumstances and see him for what he was and not let my emotions get the best of me. I’d done that before, and that was why I was here fearing for my life.
Chapter 7
Romeo
“How do you feel,” I asked, standing over him, then sitting on the side of the bed with a bowl of soup and toast on a small platter I found in the cabinets. “There’s not enough food here to feed both of us. I will have to visit the grocery store soon. And this silence is killing me. How could you stand it? That’s why I left South Dakota. Not enough action and not enough available gay men.
Raising the spoon, “I don’t feel like eating,” he said. “I don’t feel like myself. I’m not in control,” Dante droned on.
“That’s because you’re not in control. I am. You’re sick, so don’t be a baby, and eat,” I ordered. He glanced up at me, one eyebrow lifted with a puzzled gaze. Yes, you’re seeing me for the first time, Mr. Fuck me and forget me. Never mind I was the best fuck you’d had in your life and you made the mistake of telling me.
“You have to,” I insisted. “It takes strength to dig a grave, and if you think I’m going to do it for you, especially if it’s mine, then you can go fuck yourself.” He tried to smile and snicker, but his body didn’t cooperate and he began coughing hard and wheezing. When the coughing ceased, Dante leaned forward, and I placed the spoon of soup in his mouth. “Feels good doesn’t it?”
He shook his head yes, and then said, “I knew you were bossy the minute you walked into our club. It was something about you—”
“You wanted me. There’s no one here but you and me, and you might as well admit that you wanted a piece of me from day one.” I stared at Dante and held the spoon to his mouth as he locked eyes with me. He knew the truth, and I wasn’t afraid of it, or him anymore. Looking at him where he could barely feed himself and all slumped over, I analyzed him and the situation he found himself in where he had to depend on me.
He made a gesture with his finger, “A little piece.”
“But instead you got all of me, enjoyed every part and moment, and you weren’t happy about that at all were you?” He opened and closed his eyes and lay back, then he slipped into a deep sleep. Perhaps to make up for the lack of sleep he hadn’t gotten before. I took the remainder of the soup and poured it back into the pot. Then I stared at the burner phone I’d bought in the drugstore.
I needed to call my mother and tell her that I was okay. “Mom. Is everything okay with you? You sound strange.”
“I’ve been trying to get in touch with you. Your father is ill, and has been in the hospital for a few days now. He’s in there, but I’m not sure when he’ll come home. Can you come home for a few days, Rome?”
What could I tell her? No. I’m being held captive by my lover, and he’s ill too, but as soon as he gets well I’ll come home maybe. Maybe he’ll come with me. I wasn’t sure about the latter part of the conversation.
“Mom. I can’t come now, but in a few days I’ll be there. Try to enjoy the few days that Dad’s not home driving you crazy. Will you? How are the dogs? I swear father brought those dogs home to keep you busy and to not leave him. But as soon as I get a place of my own, you can come stay with me if Dad doesn’t change.”
“Alright, Rome.” Even my mother called me Rome. No one called me by my real name anymore, and I doubted whether they knew it besides my parents.
“You know, Rome, I worry about you in that large city without any friends and family.”
“We didn’t have much of a family, especially since Dad ran them away. After that no one came over. I had to leave, Mom, but I didn’t want to leave you. I’ll see you soon.”
“Are you still in New York?”
“We can talk about that another time. Just know that I’m safe and I found someone I love.”
“I feel better now.” She wouldn’t if she knew the whole story, but I left it at that, and hit the red button after I felt she’d calmed down and I’d promised to take care of her if she chose to leave my uncompromising know-it-all father.
The feeling of not having control over my life hit me, and I couldn’t concentrate. I glanced over at Dante and he appeared to be out cold. That was my opportunity to do something, but what? I couldn’t leave him to die here. But he would have left you, my mind told me. Lately my mind told me many things and I followed it good or bad. More so to my detriment.
Picking up the keys, I headed for the car and at that moment I didn’t care. I wanted to get home to my mother and never look back. However, there was a nagging feeling inside me that told me I couldn’t do this.
