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“Are you sad?” she’d asked as she propped her elbows on the table and rested her chin in her hands. Her curly pigtails had bounced with the movement and, even with my terrible mood, I’d found myself smiling again. We talked for a while before she went to the bar’s nursery.
Later that night, Travis had approached me and struck up a conversation. I think he wanted to get a feel for the guy his Little one had befriended. When he found out I was relatively new in town, he asked if I was looking for a job. I was hired a few days later for a security position at the bar and just a few months after that, I had been offered a chance to be something far more precious—Reagan’s caregiver. She had adorably renamed the position "a manny" which she explained meant a male nanny.
Reagan suffered from terrible anxiety and sensory issues. Her official diagnoses were Autism Spectrum Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder. After the death of her sister and several hard months, Travis decided Reagan needed a manny. Though we called it a bodyguard for paperwork purposes. He’d created a strict schedule for his Little one's recovery and my job was to support him while we implemented the schedule together.
I originally hadn’t been sure about the job. I knew what Littles were and didn’t hide my caregiver tendencies once I was familiar with the bar, but to be paid for them was a new concept to me. It felt wrong. I struggled to understand why I couldn’t just help him for free while still working my security position.
Travis was great, though, and was prepared for all my questions. He’d offered a large salary, a place to live, and health benefits. I could have pretended that was why I’d accepted the position, but that wasn’t true. I had been captivated by the sweet little doll ever since she had given me that “magical unicorn” straw. Her big, beautiful blue eyes had drawn me in. There was no way I could decline her Daddy’s offer. That had been three years ago and now, I considered the Little and her Daddy two of my biggest blessings. They had filled a deep hole inside of me and given me the proper family I was looking for.
Reagan gave a stretch that was much too big for her tiny frame and rolled toward me. She blinked a few times and graced me with a sleepy smile.
“Good morning, Rae-Rae,” I cooed.
“Good morning, Uncle Maddox,” she babbled as she pulled her pacifier out and set her lovie to the side before climbing into my lap. I rubbed her back, and she rested her head between my shoulder and neck. Her warm breath fanned across my bare skin. I found myself smiling at her affection.
“Why are we in your room?” she asked as she tried to snuggle deeper into me. She really was the sweetest baby.
“Daddy brought you here early this morning. He had to go to the bar. The contractors had a problem with the new rooms,” I explained, knowing she’d be anxious if I didn’t tell her why there’d been a change in her routine. Very rarely did she wake in my bed. Travis loved to spend time with her in the mornings. He had worked his schedule around making sure he was there first thing for her. “He’s going to be back before lunch, though, okay?”
“The bar is so bad,” Reagan mumbled into my neck.
I chuckled. “Yes, I thought Daddy’s head was going to explode this morning. He was all growly and stompy,”
“Poor Daddy,” she said. “The bar is broked so bad.”
It was true. The bar was “broked” so bad. The renovations had been going terribly and I was pretty sure Travis was going to have a stroke before they were finished. The bar catered to everyone from 12:00 p.m. to 2:00 a.m., but on Tuesdays and Saturdays, Travis held play parties for its VIP members. The number of VIPs had tripled in the last two years, so Travis had decided to expand. But it had been a total nightmare. Nothing was going as planned, and Travis was close to purchasing a new location and starting over. The only reason he wanted to keep the original location was that his grandfather had built it, and it meant a lot to him.
“I can help. I can drill!” She giggled.
I laughed and smacked her bottom lightly. “No drilling, little ma’am. You can help by giving Daddy lots of extra love,” I corrected her. I loved the little booger dearly, but I was slightly concerned about her infatuation with power tools. Travis and I had to hide a power sander from her last week. She’d carried it around for several days and had named it Tinkerbelle. Thankfully, due to her sensory issues, she didn’t like to power it on.
She smiled against my neck again. I kissed her forehead, then chuckled as her belly rumbled. “Oh no! I think there’s a monster in your tummy!” I teased and gently poked her sides. She shrieked and sat back on my knee.
“I’m hungry.”
“Yeah? Let’s go feed that tummy,” I said as I stood and placed her on my hip. She wrapped her legs around my waist, and I supported her bottom. “Do you need to go potty first?”
She flushed but nodded her head. She was such a shy baby, which was a conundrum because she wore only panties most of the time. I had dressed her this morning because it was a bit chilly, and I didn’t want her to get too cold.
“Can I have this?” I asked as I pulled on the clip for her pink pacifier. She grabbed it and tried to keep it on her shirt. Reagan loved her pacifier. Sometimes I thought she loved it as much as she loved her Daddy and me.
“Nooo,” she whined.
I tried not to smile. “Rae Rae, Daddy and I don’t want you to have your peep-pie as much right now. I know it’s hard, baby, but remember we need to talk about your big feelings. It’s hard to talk about them when you have this in your mouth.”
She was a quiet baby most of the time. Normally that would be fine, but due to a change in her anxiety medications, we needed to check in with her a little more frequently. It was hard to gauge her anxiety levels when she wasn’t as willing to speak.
She gave a sigh that sounded like I was asking her to sacrifice her soul but pulled the pacifier off her onesie. She held it in her hand with the most adorable little pout on her face.
“Thank you for being obedient. I know that was difficult, how about Uncle Maddox puts it in his pocket? That way you know peep-pie is safe, but you can still talk to me,” I suggested.
She was quiet for a few seconds before meeting my eyes. “Your pocket?”
“Yes, my pocket. I promise I will take the best care of it,” I said, taking the promise seriously. This was a very important responsibility.
She nodded and held out the pacifier for me. I took it and slid it into my pants. “See all safe and sound,” I soothed as I headed towards the bathroom. I set her on her feet and unsnapped the crotch of her onesie. I pulled her unicorn panties down and waited by the door as she tinkled. Her bright flush was adorable.
“Good girl!” I praised when she finished. I grabbed some tissue, wiped her, and righted her clothes before leading her to the sink so we could wash our hands.
