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“I failed,” I finally said aloud. It had run through my head for the past forty minutes, but I had never said the words. “I failed my exams. I can’t apply to dental school with those scores.”
He furrowed his brow. “The end of the year exams?” he asked with an “oh, well” attitude in his voice.
I could feel the tears welling up again as I shook my head, if only it were those exams. Those exams I passed with flying colors.
“No, my exam for dental school,” I finally said, breaking the silence I was creating.
Milo tilted his head back and raised his eyebrows. “Oh…” he said sheepishly, “that exam.”
“Yeah…” I slouched. “That exam.”
Milo locked his eyes with mine.Don’t cry, don’t cry. Don’t. Cry.
“Are you going to retake it?” Milo asked, lifting his cup slowly, laying his other hand on the table near mine fingers that laced my cup.
I sighed and shifted in my seat. “I don’t know,” I stammered. “I could…but is it worth it?”
“I mean,” Milo began, keeping his eyes on me as I tried to focus on something other than him, “I could tell how much you want to be a dentist. You had to stop yourself from talking about teeth on our date, but if I'm being honest…”
“Oh, no.” I slumped in my chair, my hands falling from my cup to my thighs.
“No, listen.” He held his hand up, his palm facing me. He leaned forward in the seat, getting closer to me. “When my mom died, I lost the drive for everything. School, work, basic human functions—”
I furrowed my brow and cut him off. “I don't want to be rude, but losing your mom is different than failing an exam. My actions are kind of ridiculous. Don't you think?”
Milo narrowed his eyes, furrowing his brow as far as they could go. “I mean, yes. The death of a loved one shouldn’t compare to the failing of an exam. However, youareallowed to feel emotions and everyone's situations are different, so please let me finish my thought process.”
I pursed my lips, biting them shut. I nodded, feeling a single teardrop onto my cheek.
He took a deep breath. “Things will happen that seem like the end of the world, but ultimately, we have to go on and decide what we want to do, right? The death of my mother completely shocked me—it turned me upside down—but it's not the end of things. I had to pick myself up somehow and find happiness somewhere. I finally left the house. I began working my normal hours, and slowly…things started to come back together. School may even be an option again.”
I gave him a slight smile. He grinned back, his eyebrows pinching together as his blue eyes met mine. Those eyes, I could still get lost in those eyes. I blinked and shifted my focus back to the cup in front of me.
“What I’m saying is it’s not the end of the world that you failed your exam. You just have to pick up the pieces and figure out what you want to do. It could happen tomorrow. It could happen months from now, but it’s not the end of your dental career.” He reached for his coffee mug, holding onto my gaze as he slowly took another drink.
I sighed. “May I ask how your mom died?” I asked softly.
He swallowed and sat the cup down, the grin from earlier vanished completely. “Car accident. It was raining, and the other driver lost control. She died on impact, and I just happened to be the EMT on shift that night.”
“Oh, Milo…” I said softly.
He shook his head. “It’s okay. I’m grieving, but I can finally go forward. I miss her. Every moment of every day. In a way, it was good I was there for her final moments. I got to say goodbye. She wouldn’t want me to wallow in grief, so…thanks to you, I’m moving on.”
My jaw dropped slightly, my mind buzzing. What did he mean because of me? I had barely known him, and the one interaction we had was a terrible kiss? “Because of me?” I asked, choking down a cough.
He nodded. “Clay had been trying to get me out of the house for months, saying I needed to go back to work, to interact with humans. He had always told me about you, but I never gave in…until three weeks ago. After that blind date with you, I started to try to get myself back.”
Without thinking, I quickly raised my arms, grasping his hands on top of the table. He squeezed my fingers, and his eyes moved from our hands to my eyes.
“It’s not the end of the world, Madeline,” he whispered. “You just need to find your light at the end of the tunnel.”
Did that mean I was his?
Milo drove me back to the dorms, the conversation turning from my failed exam to what our summer plans were. He was still going to be with Clay, working as hard as he could with the possibility—he made sure to emphasize thepossibility—of returning to school. He told me all about his dad and his new home near the coast and how Portland was always going to be his home.
Milo, in a few short hours, had seemed to become a closer friend than Ophelia was. He had a way of making me smile, and he helped me forget about the looming test score that still sat on my computer. I had to find my light, he had said; even though at the moment, the light was very dim.
He pulled up to the Commons front door and shifted the car in park. We sat in silence for a moment, me not really wanting to get out of the car. I inhaled and turned to look at him. He gave me a crooked grin.
