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I dropped my jaw and glared at her.
“We’re building a house up there, and we will be moving once it’s completed. About more two months.”
“It takes longer than two months to build a house.” I redirected my gaze back to the road in front of me. The stillness of the suburb outside had no idea what had been happening in this truck—or the walls of Hannah’s house. “You’re taking Holly away from me, and you’ve known for months…and you’re just now telling me this?”
“I’m telling you so we can get the process started. So Holly can spend more time with you this summer, and then we can begin custody mediations, work it out so you can still see her.” She started to pick at her fingernails, another nervous tick.
“Custody?” I spit the word.
When we got divorced, I made it clear that I wanted to be in Holly’s life as much as possible. I was her father, not some guy she would know in passing. We had decided on this every other week, and both had agreed to live in Portland for her school years. We did agree that if something were to change, we would negotiate the arrangements, but we never even considered an out-of-state arrangement.
This would mean I was going to be a dad she only saw during every other holiday, during summer breaks…and then when she was an adult…she could say she didn’t want to come to visit. It would become her choice over some judge’s, and I wouldn’t see her. Ever. Holly would simply be my daughter who lived in Seattle.
I inhaled.
“Milo, I know this is a shock…” Hannah said softly, “But this will be good for Holly. You know how smart she is. There are so many opportunities in Seattle, and we will keep the arrangement the same as much as we possibly can.”
“The same as much as we possibly can?” I parroted. “You don’t bring her to me or pick her up. I can’t drive to Seattle twice a week.” I hit the steering wheel, anger pulsing through my arms.
“Oh, come on, Milo.” Hannah’s voice rose. “It’s not like we are moving to the east coast. We will still be in the same damn time zone.”
“That’s not the point,” I hit. “The point here is that you’ve known for a while now that you’re moving and taking my daughter with you. You kept this information from me, and now I only have months left with Holly before she’s ripped away. We can’t keep the same arrangement once she starts school. You know that, and yet you still kept it from me.”
“I’ve been trying to tell you…”
“No,” I interrupted her. “You’ve only told me twice that you needed to talk to me. You didn't mention what it was about or anything. You could have called when Donald first got the job, before you bought the land…before the house was built.Dammit, Hannah…”
Hannah didn’t respond. She inhaled sharply, rubbing her thighs and then turning to look at me. The look in her eyes was cold, shooting daggers at me as I glared back at her.
“I’ll have my lawyer call you to set up the mediation process.” Hannah grabbed the handle to the truck. “Let me know your work schedule, and you can have Holly more this summer than planned.” She opened the door and slammed it shut, making her way back to the house with confidence in her step. The anxious person who’d been sitting in my truck all of thirty seconds ago had disappeared when I let my anger get the best of me.
I watched as she slammed the door to her house.
Thoughts began to circulate through my brain. His promotion had been planned, thought about for a while now, and she hadn’t told me. If they had only two months or so before the house was completed, then it had been in the building process formonths. Why did I have the feeling this was kept from me on purpose?
When Hannah and I first mentioned divorce, I moved out, and we slowly began the process of custody mediations. It was honestly easy, both agreeing to co-parent as best we can. I wanted to be present in Holly’s life. I didn’t want to miss any moments. Every other week seemed to be the best option. Friday to Friday…giving us an entire weekend and school week, and with my work schedule, it was the perfect way to spend as much time with Holly as possible.
Sure, there were times when I got called in, but Madeline was always willing to stay with Holly. My mind instantly went to the worst. If Hannah was moving out of state, they would fight to take Holly with them, possibly putting my sporadic work schedule on the table. I was constant on my child support payments and I was finically responsible, but Hannah stayed at home with the two—soon to be three—kids while Donald went to work as the new Chief of Surgery. They had the cushy income. They had a huge house and nice cars. I had a small apartment and a truck…
Given my state of appearance, it was no wonder who the judge would decide to go with.
Of course, Holly was going to be moving to Seattle, and I would only see her during summers and limited holidays.
I held back tears and gripped the steering wheel, placing my forehead on my knuckles.
This was something I couldn’t win…
Yet I wasn’t going to go down without a fight.
Chapter Twenty-One
-Madeline-
In the decade since meeting him, I’ve only ever seen Milo cry once. We had just met, and he had just gotten back from a therapy session where they’d dug deep into his mom’s death. He’d slept on our futon that night, with me on the floor, holding his hand as he drifted in and out of sleep. He didn’t cry when he got engaged or married. He might have shed a tear when he held Holly for the first time, and he didn't cry when Hannah asked for a divorce. All in all, Milo wasn’t a crier. Yet here he was, sitting on my sofa next to me, his face in his palms and leg touching mine with my arm draped around him, bawling.
Hannah was moving out of state and taking Holly with her.
He was devastated and certain that he was never going to see his daughter again.
