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It seemed that both of our minds were now racing.
If he wanted me to go on a vacation with him and Holly, I would make the time and be sure to go, but I didn’t want to stand in the way or possibly hinder the chance of him getting full custody of Holly. I knew the way a judge would see it. Hannah had a family, and Donald’s job was stable enough that she didn’t work. Staying with Hannah was the choice I would make if I were a custody judge…but I, of course, wanted Holly to be with me and Milo. I wanted to start my life with them and never look back.
That seemed all but impossible now, but I wouldn’t tell that to Milo. I wanted him to have hope that it would work in his favor and that Hannah would allow him to have more custody rights than he had now. Milo was a great—amazing—dad, and his love for Holly exceeded anything else.
But would having a new girlfriend hinder his likelihood of getting custody?
Would Hannah hold it against him that he was still unmarried and living a bachelor life?
I didn’t want to take that chance.
When the movie ended, Milo began to gather blankets to make himself a bed on the couch. I groaned and reached out my hand for him.
“I think we passed the ‘you sleeping on the couch’ stage,” I said sweetly.
“You mean I get the guest room?” he asked, his eyes wide.
I sighed, raising the corners of my lips to smile. “No, that room needs to stay nice. You can sleep with me.”
He pinched his brow and gave me a slight smile.
“Nothing needs to happen,” I added as his fingers slid into mine. “Let’s just sleep, come on.” I needed his arms around me as much as he needed mine. Comfort and each other—that was what we needed. Nothing more, nothing less.
Monday came faster than I wanted. Milo had spent the entire weekend at my house, coming in after his shifts and trying to relax and be as normal as possible. We would make dinner and watch another Marvel movie, moving onto the secondThorandAge of Ultron. I didn't want to admit it to him, but I was actually enjoying the movies, but more so his company.
Both nights he called Holly and talked longer than normal. The news had been dropped to her as well about moving to Seattle and by the sounds of it, she was nervous. Milo had promised her everything would work out the way it was supposed to, but each time they hung up, he cried. His fear of his daughter being hours away and not minutes consumed him until he was able to settle back into a groove.
After dinner and a movie, we would curl up in my bed, with me warm up against him with his arm around my shoulders. I could sleep like this forever, but Milo, I didn’t think he slept at all. I knew it wasn’t the fact that he was in my bed and nothing besides sleeping was happening, but it was his unsettled mind racing at a million miles an hour.
When Monday approached, we woke up early, laying in bed until we absolutely had to climb out. I quickly showered, coming down to breakfast already made and coffee sitting in the carafe. Milo was sitting on the island, my laptop, a bottle of tylenol and a cup of coffee in front of him. I came up behind him and wrapped my arms around his shoulder, gently kissing his temple before placing my cheek next to his.
“What are you looking at?” I asked, glancing at the screen on my computer.
“The law firm I used when we got divorced,” he mumbled, giving my forearm a kiss. “I know the guy I used before retired, but there has to be someone here to help me.”
“Mmm…” I slid my hands up his chest and to his shoulders. “It’s the morning of phone calls.”
Milo gave a loud groan. “Hence the coffee and the Tylenol. My shift is at two so I have time, but that puts me getting here really late.”
“It’s okay.” I sighed, thinking to myself it really wasn’t. I didn’t want to be his priority. I grabbed my mug from the cabinet and poured myself coffee, keeping in my emotions and thoughts as much as I could.
If I could be honest with him, I’d tell him to forget about me and focus on Holly, focus on getting full custody of her. Once everything was over, we could begin again, but how did I even tell him that? I didn't want him to think I was rejecting him. I wanted him to know that I was here, that I wasn’t going anywhere—ever, but that he needed to keep his attention on what was more important than a new girlfriend.
“Hello?” Milo cleared his throat, making me turn, only to notice his phone to his ear and his finger making small circles on the mouse pad. “My name is Milo Harris. I had an attorney from your firm…”
I put my mug to my lips and made my way out of the kitchen to my bookshelf. Niko was still sleeping on his bed, so I nudged him lightly with my foot. He groaned and lifted his head and popped his ears up. He stood quickly, his tail wagging. I followed him to the door, him shaking tufts of fur over the laminate as he sauntered out to the yard. He had a fully fenced in yard, something I was grateful for, and he knew to come back to the door when he was ready to come inside. But as for now, he ran in the grass, barking at whatever bird or squirrel lived in the oak tree.
I gave a small chuckle and turned my gaze back to Milo, who still had the phone to his ear.
I’m on hold,he mouthed to me.
I nodded and went back to my shelf, grabbing my newest Emily Henry book and sat on the couch.
As much as I wanted to read, I couldn’t focus on the words. I listened in the background for any information that Milo might slip out. As soon as he got on the line with someone, he spoke quickly, explaining the situation. He mentioned Hannah and Holly. He said “moving to Seattle” a few times, each with a certain disdain to his voice, and then he mentioned custody. After that, there were a lot of yesses, mm-hmms, and I understands from Milo’s end of the phone line. I could only wonder what his hopefully new lawyer was explaining to him.
I tried to read again, but alas, Emily Henry had failed me. All I thought about was me and Milo and how Holly fit into the equation of us. He spoiled me by staying here for the weekend. Making dinner, giving me kisses and hugs over the sweetest things. Letting me fall asleep in his arms and waking up in his embrace. The only missing piece to this puzzle was Holly sleeping in the room next door.
Would we ever have that moment? Instead, we had the one we were currently in. ThemessI had told him wasn’t really a mess was indeed—a mess.
