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“Ok, spill.” Jamie appeared in my office not two seconds after Dr. Brennen had left. She placed a Dr. Pepper and a bag of chewy Chips Ahoy in front of me and closed my door. “I have cookies, and you need to tell me what's going on in that head of yours. You’ve been off all week.”
I rolled my eyes and grabbed the Dr. Pepper, cracking the can open to take a long drink. Some people resorted to alcohol…I did Dr. Peppers.
“Milo said he loved me,” I mumbled.
Jamie fumbled in her chair. “Wait what? It’s been what….four weeks?”
“Well, we aren't dating anymore.”
“What do you mean you aren’t dating anymore?”
“We’re paused.” I grumbled.
“Why?”
I glared at her. I didn’t feel like telling the story again for what felt like the millionth time. “It’s complicated.”
“But he told you he loved you?”
I nodded, taking another drink of my Dr. Pepper. “And we are going on a vacation together.” I set my can down. “With Holly…” I added.
“But you’re not dating.”
“Technically, no.”
“Madeline.” Jamie’s glare stabbed at me.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” I groaned and leaned my head down on my desk, banging my forehead against the papers.
“Okay, let me ask you a question then,” she said, more relaxed this time than a moment ago when she shot my name like a bullet.
I lifted my head slightly and looked at her.
“Do you love him?”
Yes.
More than anything.
I want to be with him forever.
“Yes. More than anything. I want to be with him forever.” I said exactly what I thought. No questions asked. No second thought. Nothing holding me back.
“Then tell him.”
“I can’t.” I banged my head on the desk again. “Not while he’s going through this custody battle. Not while all this stress is buried in his gut. I don’t want to add more to that. I want to be his comfort, the one he turns to for help. I don’t want to make it more complicated than it already is by addingloveto it.”
“Custody battle?” Jamie’s eyes widened, but then she waved her hands in front of her, erasing the question from the table. “It may help to tell him. It may take away some stress, knowing he has you there.”
“He already knows that,” I grumble. “He knows I'm here no matter what. He just doesn't know that I love him the way I do.”
Jamie sighed. “Maddy…” She shifted in her chair, leaning closer to the desk. “Love isn’t a bad thing. Love isn’t meant to complicate things.”
She stood, taking her drink with her and leaving my office, shutting the door behind her.
I love you, Madeline.
I felt a smile tug at my lips. I sat up a little straighter and began to organize the papers on my desk, moving the Dr. Pepper can to the other side. I grabbed my phone and pulled up Milo’s text thread. I knew he was at work and most likely wouldn’t answer, but I just wanted him to know I was thinking of him. Always.
