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“I just need all of this to be over.”
Madeline took a deep breath. “It will happen eventually. Until then, let's just focus on the vacation we are all going to enjoy soon.”
“Not soon enough,” I murmured, locking eyes with her. Madeline chuckled and turned her back, taking a quick glance out the window at Holly still tossing the tennis ball for Niko.
After dinner, Holly and I returned to my small, cold apartment. The lights flickered on, and it no longer had that homey feel to it. Holly dropped her bag off on the couch and plopped down. She heaved a heavy sigh and placed her hands on her thighs, as if she was returning home after a long day at work.
“You’re eight,” I reminded her, heading to the kitchen to grab us a drink, dropping my keys on the peninsula.
“It’s been a long day, Dad.” She leaned her head back on the cushions on the couch.
“You’re eight,” I said again, coming out of the kitchen to plop next to her. She turned her head and looked at me, her eyebrows furrowed and a massive amount of stress in her eyes for being eight years old. “Gonna tell me what's going on?” I urged, handing her a Sprite.
There was that look again, the one that screamed uncertainty. The look that pulled all the happiness from her. I sat down next to her, not once breaking eye contact. Holly was my priority, but was she my focus? She looked scared, she looked sad, she looked…terrified. I had yet to ask her how she was coping through this, what was going on through her mind. I pursed my lips and waited, hoping she would open up.
“I don't want to move to Seattle,” she said quietly.
I heard my heart crash and break into a million pieces. I had to wonder if Hannah even considered her daughter's state of mind during all of this. A part of me knew she had, that Hannah—as much as I disliked her at the moment—was a good mother. She cared for Holly and showed her love in more ways than one, but this was a big move, and I was nervous she hadn’t listened to Holly’s worries or fears.
Swallowing, I grabbed her tiny hand in mine. “I’m trying to make it so you don't have to.”
“But, I want things to stay the same.”
“I know, sweetheart, but…” I paused and looked at her hand in mine. Over the years, I watched that hand get bigger, but right now, all I saw was the small baby hand that grasped my finger in the hospital. “That’s not an option.”
“Can’t you come with us? You can move to Seattle too.” Tears welled in her eyes, and she blinked, forcing them to stay put.
That thought had crossed my mind for less than a second. Then the thought of leaving Madeline hit harder.
“That’s the absolute last resort,” I admitted.
Holly’s shoulders slumped. “It would fix all the problems. Mom and Donald are fighting more over it. They say you’re not able to be a full-time dad, and that I wouldn’t be taken care of. Well…” she mumbled. “At least that's what Donald says.”
“And what does your mom say?”
“She says she doesn't know. I like coming here because you and Aunt Maddy don’t fight. It’s happier here.”
I pinched my brow and looked at my daughter. “This is tougher on you than it is on me, huh?”
Holly’s shoulder cocked to the side, and she looked over at me. “It sucks, Dad. I don’t want to leave, so you should just move, but…”
“Again, that's the absolute last resort.”
She nodded. “I hope I get to stay here with you longer.”
“No one is taking you away from me, Holl—” I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and pulled her close. “No one can ever do that. I’ll always be your dad, and I’ll always…alwaysbe here for you. That part will never change.”
Holly leaned her head on my shoulder and sighed. “What movie are we going to watch tonight?” She switched topics.
I chuckled. “What do you want to watch?” I asked, reaching to my side for the remote control.
“Hm…how aboutFar from Home?”
“That’s my girl.” I turned on the TV and picked our digital library, clicking untilSpidermanappeared on the screen. Holly settled into my side and pulled her knees up, resting them against my legs. She was still so small next to me. “How many times have we watched this one now?”
“Not enough.”
Chapter Twenty-Eight
