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I was at a loss for words. I bit my bottom lip and focused my gaze on my feet. What did I say to her to make her anxiety fade? What comfort could I bring?
She let out a deep breath and slowly looked back to me. “Let me ask you something, Madeline,” she said calmly, her voice carrying the weight of a thousand bricks. “Do you love Milo?”
I thought of Milo and smiled. “I do. I really, really do.”
“Do you love Holly?” Hannah’s eyebrows raised as her question hit me. The tears in her eyes formed again, a single drop falling onto her cheek.
I raised my eyebrows, mirroring her. I knew I wanted to have Holly in my life and that I was ready to take on the role of stepmom, but no one had asked me if Ilovedher. I could answer that question all day when it came to my dog or Milo…but Holly? Holly deserved a special kind of love, one that filled my heart every time she entered my mind. I blinked away the tears.
“I do,” I whispered. “Very much.”
Hannah sniffed, pulled her eyes from mine and nodded. “It took you two long enough to figure it out. Even when he was married to me, it was always you. I’m happy he finally found his way to you.” Unlike the first time she had told me this, her voice wasn’t angry or full of hatred. It was simple and sweet, and dare I say…relieved.
“Hannah,” I whispered, “I’m sorry you’re going through this and for showing up on your doorstep. I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry.” I took one single step toward her. “I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now.”
Hannah shrugged a shoulder and gave me a slight nod, a tear falling to her cheek. She wiped her cheek again. “He’s a good dad, isn’t he?”
“He really is.”
“She’ll be happy, right?” she asked, her voice cracking slightly.
I nodded. “Are you okay?” I asked, taking a single step closer to her.
“Yeah,” she muttered, “I think I will be.”
Chapter Thirty-Nine
-Milo-
Holly,” I called, once again running around the house trying to gather all of her belongings. This was the first time we had stayed at Madeline’s house, Holly gladly taking the guest bedroom under the condition that Niko would be allowed to sleep on the bed with her. “I know it’s a new place, but we gotta stop by the apartment before I take you to your mom’s.”
“Dad!” Holly called back from upstairs. “I can’t find my shoes.”
“So, it’s real?” Madeline came up to my side, looking up the steps with me. “Kids can never find their shoes?”
“They fall down a wormhole and never…ever…come back. At least Holly’s do.”
“Ah, well they are in the kitchen by the back door. She was out with Niko, remember?” Madeline kissed my cheek and returned to the living room, grabbing Holly’s backpack and pillow. She went outside and walked to the trunk.
“Holly! Kitchen!” I called. Seconds later, Holly came running down the stairs and into the kitchen. I watched with a chuckle as she gave Niko a final hug and slipped her shoes on.
“Okay, okay!” She skipped. “I’m ready!” She ran out the door and gave Madeline a hug as she made her way down the sidewalk to the truck. “See you next week, Maddy!”
Holly had dropped the “Aunt” this visit, which made Madeline feel more official. I met her halfway and scooped her up, giving her a deep kiss, knowing that she would be here waiting for me when I got back from drop off.
Since the court date, which ended in Hannah coming in, not reading her statement, only to ask for an extension on the court instead. I hadn’t heard from Richard or Hannah, and it was refreshing. Life seemed to balance out into a normal rhythm, with stress and fear fading away as Madeline and I fell into each other, Holly joining us like we’d always been a family. This was my life now, no more darkness or fog. Just Holly and Madeline. My girls.
I pulled into my apartment complex, turning the engine off as Holly jumped from the car. Most of her things were at Madeline’s this week, but those few times she always forgot were stashed in her room. I watched as she ran up the steps and out of view. Grabbing my keys, I followed her closely.
“Mommy!” I heard her shout.
Hannah?
“Mommy, what are you doing here?”
“Hey, sweetie. I wanted to come pick you up. I have to talk to Daddy.”
I heard them talk to each other, voices low, loud enough that I started to shake as I took each step. I took a deep breath and reminded myself of the new confidence I had just moments ago. There was no reason to shake or be scared of any conversation that was going to take place.
