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He smiled but looked wary. “The thimble I gave you seven years ago at Christmas.”
She nodded. “When I gave you those five cashmere sweaters because I couldn’t figure out what color to choose. And you pretended you liked them.”
“I did. I loved those sweaters. I couldn’t afford things like that back then. Only problem was after that phone call when you told me it was over between us I had a hard time wearing them without thinking of you and getting depressed.”
That brought on another round of tears. “I’m so sorry, Noah.”
He wiped a stray tear from her cheek. “Hey, it’s in the past. You were going to tell me why you are crying right now.”
Julie looked down at the thimble. “I found this today and I feel like it is bringing me full circle. It was in an old sweater that had been packed away and forgotten about.”
She met his eyes. “This thimble was the best gift I ever got. It helped me get through a really bad time. Then I somehow misplaced it and had searched frantically for it and finally gave it up as lost. That happened right when I was moving back to New York.”
“From London.”
“No, from New Mexico. That’s where I was living then.”
His eyebrows formed a V. “I didn’t know you ever lived in New Mexico.”
She heaved a sigh. “I did. For two years. It’s where Molly was born.”
“Is New Mexico where you met your husband?”
“No.” Julie rubbed a hand over her face. “I know it is long overdue for me to tell you the truth about all that, but I’m having a difficult time figuring out where to begin.”
Noah seemed like he wanted to say something but kept starting and changing his mind. Finally he said, “Before you begin, I need to tell you something about that. Leanne is gossiping about you at the country club, and the other day she pulled me aside to give me the lowdown on you. She said that you call yourself divorced but there is no record of you ever being married. And that there is no father listed on Molly’s birth certificate. I could have easily found out whether that is true or not myself, but I want you to know I chose to wait until you were ready to tell me about it.”
Julie had always thought she would be crushed if this ever got out, or livid at the very least, but sitting next to Noah, his loving gaze on her, an old rebellious streak came out and she merely shrugged. “Leanne is absolutely right. On both counts.And I pretend I graduated college in London but never did that either.”
Noah actually chuckled, then said, “A lot of women have children on their own these days.”
“I know. But I mainly did not want anyone to judge or hurt my daughter. And I was so afraid of falling back into the crazy life I’d gotten into in London that I needed to hide behind the rigid snooty protective wall that my money could give me.”
“Did you love Molly’s father?”
Julie turned to Noah, her hand going to his cheek. Of course that would be what he’d want to know, what would have hurt him. “No. Not even close. You are the only man I ever loved, Noah, and I would never lie about a thing like that.”
He took her hand and kissed the palm, then held it in his lap. “So, maybe it’s time to go back to where we left off.
Seven years ago…
Noah walkedacross Washington Square and headed into Julie’s apartment. He tossed his computer and books on a table. He took off his coat, but kept on the beige cashmere sweater he’d worn today. The apartment was toasty compared to the bitter cold January day, but this sweater was one of five that he could put on when he wanted to feel as if Julie’s arms were around him.
It was a good thing Julie’s father had insisted she spend the month of winter break in London with him. It was giving Noah a chance to finish two papers and get them in before he was penalized. He knew his grades had already been falling off slightly, but today he learned that it was worse than hethought. When Dr. Scott called him into his office and told him not only that his scholarship was in jeopardy but also that this could impact the medical residencies he was applying for, Noah understood he had to right this ship and fast.
He did not regret any of the time he’d spent with Julie this past year. He was so in love with her that every moment they had together was precious. But when she returned, they would need to sit down and make a plan, with rules that allowed them ample time together but had mandatory study time scheduled in for him.
That was one of the problems. Julie hated her college courses and could never seem to stay focused. The only time he saw her settle down and focus was when she was sewing with Mariel. This past Halloween she had designed and produced a whole bunch of incredibly creative costumes that she gave to kids living in homeless shelters and kids stuck in cancer wards.
That was why he had to buy her that thimble he’d seen with the seagulls flying over the ocean. His Julie needed to be free.
He had made an effort to tell her that, to encourage her to drop her pursuit of goals she kept failing at, goals that were about her father’s work, about her desperate attempt to please him. But she wouldn’t listen. Her desperate need for any crumb of approval tossed her way by her larger-than-life famous and accomplished father kept her locked in a no-win game.
Strolling to the kitchen, Noah put some Chinese food he’d gotten yesterday in the microwave. Then he would make some coffee and get back to work. He smiled at the “HIS” and “HERS” mugs Julie had bought for the two of them and took his out of the cabinet, trying not to miss her too much.
This whole past year had been the best in his life. Because of her. It wasn’t only the fun things, like Broadway shows or rock concerts they went to or a weekend playing hide and seek in her family’s big empty house in Connecticut, it was the cozy intimatemoments when they were here in the apartment sharing meals and watching movies and talking about their day and most of all—making love.
Yes, it was love, and they had both spoken those magic words.
