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Struggling to suppress the deluge of tears welling inside her, Julie turned for the door, saying, “Let’s skip that lunch we planned on. I doubt either of us has an appetite after this fun little conversation.”
12
Present day…
Noah pulledJulie into his arms after hearing her painful story, as they sat in her Southampton living room. “I’m so sorry, Julie. I wish you had at least called me back then and told me the truth. I could have been a support to you.”
“No,” she said, her voice going quiet. “My dad made me believe I was no good. Whoever my biological father was did not even want to acknowledge I existed. And even Uncle Scotty, who liked me, was worried I would harm you. The last thing I wanted to do was ruin your chances for the medical career you were working so hard for.”
“That would not have happened.” Noah brushed a kiss on her forehead. “Any time I asked for space or quiet, you gave it to me. You were not the problem. The fact that I’d worked so hard for so long without allowing myself to escape was the issue, and falling in love with you was the greatest gift I could have asked for. I was already planning ways to balance it out so I could have both. We could have done it.”
Julie nodded. “I know that now, having been to hell and back, but at the time I was too broken to even consider it. Aside from the devastating blow of finding out I was illegitimate and that the father I’d been trying my whole life to please had never wanted me and never would, he’d also convinced me I was bad for you. I started to believe I was a curse, and putting that curse on you was something I would never do. So, after days and days of sobbing fits that I’d had to hide from my London roommate, I just plain quit trying anything and started living out my hedonistic vixen persona, proving him right.”
“Is that roommate the same Gillian who is setting up an event center here in the States?”
“Yes, but neither of us is the wild child we both were then. Although her brother, Gordon, for all his success in their family business, is still a party animal hitting the best ski resorts in the winter and the beach resorts in the summer with his posse of wealthy friends.”
“Is Gordon Molly’s father?” he asked, not sure if he wanted her to answer.
“No.” She smirked. “It’s kind of poetic that my daughter will never know her father’s name, and I will never know mine.”
“What about potential medical issues?” Noah asked.
“Bryce managed to get me records from him while also getting a legal sign-off on any claim to Molly’s parenthood.”
“Geez. Who is this guy?”
Julie looked away, then faced him again and said, “I need to go back before Molly’s father. Because my story is not finished. And it gets worse.”
Noah wasn’t sure what to expect, but he took her hand again and nodded for her to go on.
“I need to go back to that year I went to college in London, and to my father, I mean Trevor Vaughn, the man who claimed me legally as his child. In March, he was going to be given somebig award, and he wanted Bryce and me in California for the ceremony and reception. At the time I could not imagine why he wanted me there, but now I wonder if it was his attempt at healing some of the damage he’d done when he revealed that no one wanted me, including him.”
“That is so cruel for him to do.”
“It was, and when he called me we had a big argument. I told him I would not show up for his award ceremony. And we both said terrible things to each other. The one I remember most was me telling him to drop dead and that I never wanted to see him again.”
Noah’s breath caught. “Oh, my God. I think I know where you’re going with this.”
“Yep.” She looked down at the floor. “A few days later Bryce called me and said my father had a heart attack. He dropped dead in the middle of the event. Someone did CPR on him until the EMTs came, but it was too late.”
“I’m so sorry.” He rubbed a hand over her back.
“I hated myself for what I said to him, and still do. Luckily, his sister took charge of the funeral, since Bryce and I were still in college and not fully functioning adults, and that is why it was in a Chicago suburb near the Vaughn family home.”
“When I heard of his death—there was a big article on him in theNew York Times—I looked for notices of the funeral, thinking I would go if it was in New York. Not to mess with your head, but just because of…us.”
Julie glanced up at him. “Even though I turned down your marriage proposal?”
He nodded. “Yes. I still loved you. And I was having trouble letting go.”
“I still loved you too, Noah. The reason I called you again after he died was to tell you I was not going to sell the apartment until you graduated. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“I could tell that was what you were doing. I also believed you called me because I was the one you needed to turn to when you were hurting, which was why I begged you to come home and marry me.”
“I couldn’t, Noah. What you didn’t know was that I felt certain I had given my father his fatal heart attack. I believed his death was a confirmation that I was a curse that would destroy you just as I had destroyed my father. And it was all too painful and raw for me to even attempt to explain that to you.”
He wanted to growl but kept his practiced doctor’s cool and said, “I would never have agreed with the idea of that because it is a bunch of shit.”
