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I glance at the house, wishing I was in a fit state to square up to him. No guy who reacts like this after a break up deserves to be called a man. A woman doesn’t need to give a reason, but Imogen gave him one anyway. She told him how she was feeling, and he’s reacted poorly.
I just hope we can fix this before it gets further out of hand.
CHAPTER TEN
Imogen
Mum lowers a box of tissues on my lap, along with a bowl of popcorn. She hasn’t left my side since Dad broke the news about the predicament I’ve put myself in.
My life with Zach has flashed before me, and it feels like I’m grieving a loss. I remember the day we went to a theme park and he rode the merry-go-round with me because I was too scared to go on the big rides. We laughed at being the only grown-ups on the kid rides without kids.
I remember when we got my car stuck in the mud on our way to a cabin we had rented. By the time we got the car out, he was covered in mud.
I remember all the times we laughed and had fun.
I refuse to believe this is who he has always been. Because it would mean all those memories become tainted by who he is now.
“How are you holding up?” Mum asks, flipping her curls behind her shoulder.
I twirl a piece of popcorn between my fingers. “He was my best friend, Mum.”
“I know. Sometimes people do shitty things in the heat of the moment. I’m sure he will come around eventually. I’m not saying you have to forgive him because what he has done is awful. But I know what he means to you. I know how much you care even if he doesn’t right now.”
“I never meant to hurt him,” I sniffle. “I shouldn’t even be bothered about that after what he has done, but there’s still a part of me that sees my friend. And what hurts the most is he’s the person who I normally call when I have a shit day. I hate that I care, and I hate that a part of me doesn’t.”
“What do you want in a relationship?” she asks.
“Um, I’m not sure how this will help,” I comment.
“Trust me,” she pleads, taking my hand. “Answer.”
“I want someone who understands me. I want them to be okay that I like living with the basics. I want them to love my family as much as I do. I need someone who doesn’t keep score. I want someone to love me for me, and with all my flaws.”
“And why did you break up with him?” she asks.
My forehead creases. “You already know why.”
“Tell me again.”
“Because he didn’t understand me. He never wanted to be a part of my whole life, just the parts that involved me alone. He never understood that I was happy with my old laptop, or why I wouldn’t upgrade my phone. He never cheered me on. Instead, he gave me a list of things I did wrong. I never understood why he loved me because he would constantly tell me what my flaws were. My birthday was just the tip of the iceberg. He has known me long enough to know my birthday is always spent with you guys. I know you lot wouldn’t hold it against me, but it’s my favourite tradition. You and Dad have always made our birthdays special.”
“Because it is special. Not only because it’s the day I became a mum, but it’s the day my life changed forever. You know I lost my parents young. I don’t remember much of them anymore, but I wanted to make sure that if anything ever happened to me or your father, you would always have those memories.”
“He didn’t understand that. He didn’t want to. I tried, Mum. I really tried. I cared for him so much. I loved him like I do family and friends but I was neverinlove with him. And it was unfair of me to stay with him for so long. I guess I’m blaming myself for all of it. I feel like he was right when he said it was my fault.”
“I will never understand why you tried with him again and it’s not my place to. But I know my daughter. She wouldn’t be with someone if something wasn’t there to begin with. You wouldn’t intentionally hurt someone unless they hurt you first. This isn’t your fault, my darling girl. Maybe if he did all the things you needed from him, it would have blossomed into more. It didn’t.”
“I hate that I care,” I choke out.
“Because you are a good person. Despite everything that has happened, you still lost someone you cared for.”
“I should have broken it off sooner.”
“Maybe. Maybe not. You can break up with someone without it ending up like a war. He started this, and now he has to live with his actions. He has lost you as a friend, my girl, and to me, that is the worst tragedy.”
I lean my head on her shoulder. “I love you, Mum.”
“I love you too,” she tells me, kissing the top of my head. “Are you sure you don’t want me to stay over? We could have a girl’s night. It’s been a while since we had one.”
