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How did I become the focus of this conversation? “I’m supposed to talk to you about Jake.”
“What about him?”
“Talk you into love,” I say. “But you already understand it. The way you sacrifice for her, put her first.”
Lexi shakes her head. “She’s such a hypocrite.”
Probably.
“She denies any help. Pushes it away with a ten-foot pole. Then she insists on inserting herself into my love life.”
“You don’t want her there?”
“I asked for her help this weekend, sure.” She sips her coffee. “With Willa. So I wouldn’t feel so under the microscope. That’s not sexy, you know? It’s not romantic, either. Who can possibly feel like they’re in love with someone they’re expected to love?”
“You want autonomy.”
“Doesn’t everyone?”
I nod. “Deanna explained, the thing with the app. You’re a perfect match?”
“Near perfect.” She nods. “But I hate that, too. I hate the app telling me what to do. Even without the investors and the need for a poster couple…I just want to prove it wrong.”
“You want freedom?” I ask.
She nods.
“But you’re not free, if you reject something because everyone expects it of you. It’s no different than doing something because everyone expects it of you.”
She sits back, thinking it over. “That’s actually really smart.”
“Actually?”
“Let’s face it. Neither of us is known for our brains.”
A laugh spills from my lips. “Only for our beauty?”
She nodsobviously. For a moment, lightness fills the table, the air, the resort. Then she shifts back to the matter at hand. “Is that why you want to stay here? Because your grandma wants you to go?”
That’s probably a part of it.
“What will you do,” she says, “if you leave? Are you going to end things with Dee or ask her to come with you?”
Chapter Thirty-Six
Deanna
Jake distracts me with the sort of expertise he could have only learned from Lexi. He asks a technical question about the app. Then he asks another. And another. And another.
I don’t even notice when Lexi comes to pull me away for meeting prep. She helps her boyfriend up, then she pulls him into a deep, slow kiss. A kiss that screamsI’m going to have my way with you later. Or maybeI already had my way with youtoday.
They seem different, somehow. I can’t explain it. I don’t know the logic. Really, I rarely understand the logic when it comes to Lexi.
But they’re here, and they’re happy, and they’re right. And, when she says goodbye to him and leads me back to her room to prep, I find all the signs.
The messy sheets. The open lingerie drawer. The Bluetooth speaker. The empty bottle of champagne sitting in the ice bucket, next to two dirty glasses.
“You had sex?” I ask.
