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I already knew a lot from Fern and North, but I still wasn’t ready for Grandma to hand me a banana and a condom and sayyou’re old enough, you need to know how to use these.
She asked me to come to her if I ever had questions or concerns. She asked about who I was dating, if the relationship was physical, what I wanted.
Some people would find it intrusive or strange. And I suppose it is a little strange, compared to the average American family, but it’s normal, too.
We’re open about sex.
We don’t share lurid details, but we don’t shirk the subject, either. People have needs. They fill those needs. Nothing wrong with that, as long as everyone is safe and on the same page. Sure, casual sex isn’t my thing. I want an intimate experience. Something closer to making love.
But I don’t judge people who see the act another way.
“You’re thinking about sex,” she says.
I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “You think everyone is always thinking about sex.”
“Yes,” she agrees. “Because they usually are. If not sex, then what’s on your mind? You’ve got a certain look— Oh.” She darts a quick glance in the direction of the house next door. “You’re thinking about Lexi.”
“I wasn’t.” At least not right at that moment. “But now that you mention it, yeah, I talked to her earlier. She invited me to her party tonight.”
“River.” She packs years of intention into my name. “She’s seeing someone. The same guy for a while now.”
A stone drops in my gut.
No… Lexi is a lot of things, but she’s not a cheater. Did I misread her?
I fight to keep my expression neutral. “And?”
“You like her. You’ve always liked her.”
“I’m going to a party, not a private hotel room.”
“She looks happy,” Grandma says. “The happiest I’ve ever seen her.”
Then why did she invite me to talk, alone?
My thoughts scatter as my heartbeat picks up. Lexi said she wanted to talk—I need to not get ahead of myself. Take this one step at a time. I assumed “talk” meant something else, but maybe I was wrong. Maybe talk just means talk, and she wants to be alone so we can catch up without distractions. Like her sister. There’s something going on between them and I don’t want to get in the middle of it.
“If she’s happy, she’s not going to go after anyone else,” I say. “And I’d never go after a woman in a relationship.”
Grandma returns to her usual firm-yet-loving tone. “Don’t be naive, sweetheart. The world isn’t that simple.”
She carefully pours the tea into two mugs, and I decide to keep my mouth shut. There’s nothing more to say—we silently agree to disagree. Grandma knows she can’t change my feelings for Lexi just because she’s with someone else. Even I can’t do that. So she’ll just have to trust me on this one. I’m not a cheater. Neither is Lexi.
But Iamgoing to the party tonight. And Iamgoing to talk to Lexi, alone.
At her Sweet Sixteen, all I wanted was to talk to her. To tell her how I feel. I’m not going to blow this opportunity now that I’ve got a second chance to do it.
I’ll tell Lexi how I feel, and that’s it. The next move is hers.
Chapter Five
Deanna
Thankfully, Jake arrives early. As usual, he and Lexi make a perfect Orange County couple. The flawless blonde in pink and the handsome, tall, dressed-to-kill, but casually of course, Vietnamese man in a suit. They even have matching California accents. (In college, I made great efforts to rid my vocabulary of the word “dude.” Lexi went the other way, leaned into her aural resemblance to noted Orange County girl Gwen Stefani).
Dad greets him in the living room. He tries to do it casually, as if he hasn’t noticed Lexi has a serious boyfriend, and doesn’t care, and just happens to be here, right now.
“Mr. Le—Jake.” Dad offers his hand with his usual not-at-all-cool formality. “Lovely to see you again.”
