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Energy surges through my body, but it’s a fast surge. It underlines my exhaustion. “Soon.”
“Tomorrow?” she offers.
“Fern and North are coming tomorrow.”
“A family reunion?” she asks. “Perfect. Let’s go out. All four of us. Five of us. If Deanna wants. But she never wants.”
I nod.
She smiles. “How about I walk you home?”
“It’s a long way.”
She laughs hard, even though it’s really not that funny, gets out of the car, and helps me out.
I take her hand and follow her onto the sidewalk, up the stone path to Grandma’s house.
We stand there, under the porch light, exactly where I pictured us a million times.
This is where we whisper,I had a great time,and kiss.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Lexi squeezes my hand. She looks up at me with affection and need in those big, blue eyes.
It’s what I imagined, but doesn’t feel the way I imagined. It’s not perfect. I’m not finally whole. “Tomorrow.”
“Until then.” She moves closer, rises to her tiptoes, and brings her lips to mine.
A soft hint of a kiss.
I expect cranberry, pomegranate, vodka—
The taste on Deanna’s lips—
But there’s nothing. Only Lexi.
It’s everything I imagined.
It’s nothing like what I imagined.
Chapter Twelve
River
At home, I hang my coat on the rack, next to Grandma’s silk trench (as she says, “It may not rain in California, sweetheart, but it does rain men. I need to look my best.”).
“You’re out late. Did you finally sleep with the girl next door?” Grandma asks from her spot on the couch. “Or do we need to go over mechanics again?” She smiles. “Should I grab a condom and a zucchini?”
“Please don’t.”
“A banana?”
“Yes, the fruit in question is the problem.”
She laughs. “How was the party?”
“Fine.”
“Only fine?” She checks the time on her slim silver watch. “Past midnight?”
