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“Softballs, huh?”
“The balls maybe.”
She laughs. “You sound like Lexi.” At the mention of her sister, she loses all the brightness in her expression. It’s like she suddenly remembers why we’re here, that I’m meant to be with Lexi.
It doesn’t feel as obvious as it normally does.
I tell myself this is a physical reaction, that’s all, but I don’t quite believe it. And I don’t know how to feel about that.
“I’m not going to judge you for it,” I say.
“I know. You wouldn’t adore Lexi if you judged women for sleeping around.” She swallows a sip of tea. “No. I haven’t slept with any of them. Not because I’m following some sort of rule.”
“People still do the three-date rule?”
“I don’t know. I don’t think anyone ever did it. The average is a lot higher.”
I smile.
“What?”
“You’re always using data to explain your decisions.”
She gives me a look. “What else would I do?”
“What feels right.”
“Using data feels right,” she says. “Rules feel right. They keep you safe. They keep you from doing something stupid.”
“But you didn’t have a rule.”
“Nothing on the first date,” she says. “That was my only rule. Not that I ever wanted to break it. I’ve never felt like I could trust a guy I just met. Even if we’ve been talking for a bit.”
“That’s smart.”
She sighs. “I don’t know how people do it,” she says. “Casual sex. Even once I get past the wholethis guy might be an axe murdererstage, I don’t feel safe enough to really trust someone with my body. My needs.”
“You haven’t slept with any of the guys?”
“One of them,” she admits.
“How was it?”
“Guess.”
“So good you wanted another date?” I grin.
She shakes her head.
“What was bad about it?”
“Nothing was bad. It just wasn’t good.” She looks to the window and my gaze follows for a moment. There’s a young couple stopped at a streetlight, staring into each other’s eyes. “It’s never been that good for me,” she says, pulling her attention back to me. “Not the way it is in your grandma’s books.”
“It’s hard to compete with fiction.”
“It’s not that…” She shakes her head. “I don’t go in expecting a fantasy. Just the sort of respect for power and strength the men claim to have.”
“And what happens?”
