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“From what?” she prodded.
He frowned. “I don’t know. I’m just talking out my ass, Lily. Safe from feeling like shit, I guess. Safe from feeling scared.”
It took her a minute to work up the nerve to ask. “Does it work?”
His face was a like a stone mask. “No,” he said.
It took a while to breathe down the tears. “What pathetic schlubs we both are,” she said. “Going after the moon with a butterfly net.”
His dimples flashed. “That’s a poetic way of describing pathetic schlub behavior.”
“Hey, you know us crazy poet types.”
The c-word wiped the smile right off his face. He shot up to his feet, his face a stone mask again. “It’s late. Tomorrow’s a big day. You should get some sleep. Dealing with McClouds takes a lot of energy.”
Aw, crap. She’d accidentally killed the tender moment. But no way was she going to be dismissed like this. “You look like you’re chewing Excedrin tablets whenever you mention the McClouds,” she said. “What’s your deal with those guys? Do you dislike them so much?”
Bruno looked uncomfortable. “No. They’re OK.”
“You’re lying,” she said baldly. “Out with it.”
“No. Really. They’re fine,” he insisted. “I’m the problem, not them. You know that thing that happened, with the Parrishes, last year? Kev’s amnesia, and all that? Him finding his biological brothers?”
“I read everything that was in the papers,” she said.
“Well, there they are. Kev’s brothers. They look like him. They’re smart, like him. They know all this crazy shit that nobody else knows, like him. He’s got this wacky childhood in common with them, and he remembers it all. How do you expect me to feel about them?”
“Um…you could try being happy for him?” she ventured.
“Awww.” He held up his hand, rubbed his thumb and forefinger together. “Here’s the world’s smallest violin, playing a sappy tune.”
“Ouch,” she murmured. “That bad?”
“Oh, yeah,” he said. “It’s that bad. He’s the only brother I have. Then, one day, he gets three new, improved brothers. Guns drawn, muscles flexed, saving his ass when the shit came down. More than I could. And afterwards, there’s the tender family reunion, right? And the lovely wives are covering him with kisses, and babies are tumbling, and kids are swarming, all the nephews and nieces jumping all over long-lost Uncle Kevvie. And I’m, like, great, dude. Yay for you. Good on you.”
“So you feel like chopped liver?” she asked. “Is that the problem?”
“Fuck, Lily. I never claimed to be Mr. Mature. Could we change the subject? Because the further you go with this one, the more badly it’s going to reflect on me. I’m a selfish dickhead. End of story.”
“No you are not,” she said. “Anyone would feel that way, whether they admitted it or not. You just say how you feel, that’s all.”
“Well, that’s the definition of a dickhead,” he said sourly. “A guy who isn’t smart enough to shut his big mouth in time.”
“No. That’s not the definition of a dickhead,” she said.
“No? In any case, I’m using the McClouds, in spite of feeling like chopped liver. They can’t say no to me, for Kev’s sake, so I’ll exploit them for my own selfish purposes. Sounds dickheaded to me.”
“Exploit them how?”
“Making them help you. Kev’s twin is coming to get us. They’ll find a place for you to hide. Help me find who’s gunning for you. They may bug me, but they might as well make themselves useful in the process.”
She stared at him. “Bruno,” she said. “These people don’t know me. They don’t owe me favors. I have no money to pay them for their time and resources. How long will they realistically put up with this?”
He looked obdurate. “Until I say it’s enough.”
“You have that kind of clout with them?”
“I’ll use up what clout I have. Might as well be good for something, right? When they’re sick of helping, I’ll think of something else.”
