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“Asfuckingif! That’s ridiculous! There’s only one bed! As tired as you are, you’re sleeping in a straight back chair? Am I so scary?”
A muscle in his jaw twitched. “Pretty much.”
“For God’s sake, Bruno! Relax! Your virtue is safe with me!”
“Virtue, my ass. Somebody stays awake. It ain’t gonna be you.”
Lily tried for a reasonable tone. “I’m not going to be able to sleep if you’re sitting on a chair, clutching your gun and glowering.”
“I’ll clutch and glower quietly.”
She shook her head. “I won’t lie down unless you do. That’s final.”
He shook his head, frowning into the fire. She put her hand on his shoulder. His muscles jumped and twitched beneath her hand.
“Please, Bruno,” she whispered. “Please, rest, too.”
He rubbed his eyes. “Fine, whatever,” he growled.
So it was that a half an hour later, they were both stretched out on the bed, fully clothed but for their shoes. Bruno had insisted that she lay inside the comforter with himself outside of it, leather jacket draped over his shoulders, his back to her.
She stared at the bulwark of his shoulders. He wasn’t asleep. He was motionless, but she sensed the frantic mental activity in his head.
She was beyond sleep. Punch-drunk. Weirdly, she no longer really cared what he thought of her. Why stress about it? She had nothing to hide. He knew things about her no one else knew, not even Nina. Things she hadn’t even known herself, until she seduced him. Like, that she was a wild hellcat in bed with him, for instance. Wow. Who’d have guessed? Hard to reconcile with her self-image. Lustful Lily, sex maniac. And the fact that he thought she was damaged, and therefore, no longer eligible for wild hellcat sex. Damn. That really stung.
She didn’t want to think about it, but the thoughts raced ahead of her, unstoppable. Howard had been diagnosed as schizophrenic. She’d known he was mentally ill for years. His illness was part of the landscape of her life.
But where did that leave her with these knife-wielding assassins? If Howie’s Magda story was bullshit, then what reason could there be for those guys to chase her…unless there was something that she didn’t remember? Had she’d somehow managed to piss off dangerous people…and couldn’t remember why? Say, blackouts? A split personality?
No.Not possible. That was absurd. Howard was mentally ill, but not her. Not logical Lily, thank you very much.
Right. That lack of mental flexibility was a hallmark of mental illness in itself.
And oh, man. If she stayed on this train of thought any longer, it would take her over the broken railway bridge and dump her in the abyss. She had to derail, or she’d have to metabolize all the sleep-killing fear and dread chemicals now dumping into her blood.
So she did the one thing that she knew would wipe her brain squeaky clean of all thought, rational or otherwise.
She reached out and touched Bruno’s shoulder.
CHAPTER15
Bruno arched, like she’d slapped him with electric paddles. “Jesus, Lily,” he hissed. “You startled me.”
“You shouldn’t turn your back on me, if I’m so terrifying.”
He let out a sigh. Shook his head. And did not turn.
“You need to relax,” she said, stroking him. “I can’t imagine that would be easy, though. Being in bed with a madwoman and all.”
“Goddamnit, Lily. Shut up with that crap.”
“Um, no. I can’t. Sorry,” she murmured. “I’m just stressed. Makes me do that nervous talking thing. You know. You do it too, right?”
“Sometimes. Lately, I’ve been working on keeping my yap shut. The results look promising. I recommend it.”
She cuddled closer. He stiffened. “You, advocating self control?” She slid her hand beneath his jacket. “That’s kind of funny.”
“Don’t,” he muttered. “Please.”
