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He reached up to my face, freezing as I flinched away. “First, take a deep breath, and let it out slowly,” he said. “Then, do it again.”
I swallowed back my knee-jerk smart remark, and just did it.
I was surprised at myself. I never followed anyone’s orders. I’d built my whole life around that principle. But in his mouth, it sounded like a sexy invitation. One I wanted desperately to accept.
I wished I could be a different woman, just for tonight. But I was what my childhood trauma had forged me into. I couldn’t mold myself into some new shape to suit him. I just looked at him, and mouthed the word.How?
He clasped my hands, winding his fingers through mine, and pulled me over toward the big easy chair, upholstered in battered dark brown leather. He sat, facing the window, and pulled on my hand. “Sit on my lap.”
I stared down at him. “What, like you’re some naked sexy Santa?”
He exploded with muffled laughter. “Goddammit, Kat. Stop making me laugh. It was supposed to sound a whole lot more innocent and less threatening than that.”
“Sorry, but with that body, stark naked? Innocent is not the word that comes to mind. And a dick of those dimensions definitely falls under the category of a threat. Not that I’m complaining, of course. I have invited you in every way I know how to threaten me with your gorgeous dick. Bring on the danger, buddy. Menace me.”
“I’d rather seduce and coax and persuade than threaten you,” he said. “It’s a vibe thing. I want the vibe softer. But you have to allow it. I can’t make you.”
“Humph,” I grunted, still resisting the pull of his hand, clamped on mine. “And you think sitting on your lap will make that happen?”
“We won’t know until you try it, right? Neither will I. I’m just feeling my way.”
“Ah.” I swayed, barely, in his direction. “The lap thing seems kinky.”
He grinned. “Sure, maybe. In a good way. I figured, if you’re sitting on my lap, you won’t feel trapped or crowded by me. Any time you wanted to get up, you could.”
I swayed closer. “I don’t know,” I whispered. “I think it is a trap.”
“Maybe,” he whispered back. “But the bait is sweet. And there’s plenty of it. As much as you can take.”
Oooh. I was getting those naughty bad-boy vibes again. Easier for me to process than tenderness, solicitude. Tenderness terrified me, and I did not like being terrified.
I took a step toward him, then another, then another…and carefully, gingerly, perched myself on his lap. But something happened as our bodies touched. The heat, the sudden shock of contact, pulsed a throb of sensation through me that just unraveled me.
It took the starch right out of me. If I hadn’t been sitting, I would have fallen. I had jelly-legs, a soft, liquid throat. Wet eyes, gazing into his with shocked awareness.
His arms slid around me, and I didn’t slap them away. He looked up into my face, with that look on it. He didn’t look uncomfortable. Just looked intensely interested. Wide awake. Not going anywhere.
“You okay?” he asked softly.
I shook my head. “Okay” was so absolutely not the word for whatever this was.
“Did I do something wrong?
I shook my head again. “Good, then,” he whispered. “Come closer.”
“I can’t,” I said shakily. “I’m sitting right on you. How much closer could I be?”
“Let’s find out,” he said.
I melted into him. Found myself with my forehead touching his forehead. His arms, going up around my shoulders. The contact was deeper than any kiss I’d ever known. It was like the glow of a like a star in my mind. Something was happening to me. As if he’d put a spell on me and it was dismantling all my defenses, they were melting before my eyes, and I couldn’t make it stop. I couldn’t ramp up my snotty hag routine again.
I was speechless, trembling. He was hugging me, and shudders of astonished release kept going through me, almost like I was coming, except that it was far deeper than any orgasm I’d ever given myself. Those were the only ones I’d ever had. Sex was fun sometime, but it had never yielded orgasms, at least not for me.
Then he kissed me.
I wrapped my arms around his neck and let myself be swept into the vortex.
CHAPTER11
